Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Ben narrowed his eyes, not understanding what I said, but it didn’t matter.
“We’ll see you tomorrow after he’s discharged,” Carmen added.
“Sure,” I mumbled on my way out of the room.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
INXS, “NEED YOU TONIGHT”
Gabby
“Did he ask about me?” Olivia questioned as we ate chicken sandwiches and fries at the dining hall.
“He doesn’t talk much,” I mumbled, squeezing ketchup onto my plate.
“I’ll take that as a no. Does he know I’ve been there twice while he was sleeping? That I met his parents?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t been there the whole time. So maybe his parents said something or maybe they didn’t. You said you didn’t want a serious relationship. Just ninety-six.”
Olivia snorted. “Sixty-nine. But we never got that far.”
I was relieved. It bothered me to think that my mouth had touched Ben’s mouth if his mouth had been between Olivia’s legs.
“I can’t believe he’s going home.” I released a heavy sigh.
“Gabby, what do you expect him to do? If he can’t hear, and he doesn’t know sign language, and he’s a music major, how is he supposed to learn?”
“Beethoven was deaf.”
“I don’t know if I’d throw that in Ben’s face right now.”
“I won’t. I’m just really going to miss him. And if he can’t hear, I can’t even talk to him on the phone.”
“Write him letters.”
I stared at my plate, replaying the kiss between us. Then my thoughts jumped to the panic in his eyes the night I rode with him to the hospital. His head in my lap. The tears that he quickly wiped away when we got to the hospital. The agony on his face when he spoke too loudly because he couldn’t hear himself.
“I’m not hungry.” I stood. “So I’m going back to the room.”
“Gabby …”
I tossed my dinner and walked back to the dorm. When I got there, Matt was sitting on the floor outside of my room.
“Hey,” I said, mustering as much enthusiasm as possible, which wasn’t a lot.
“Hi. I heard about Ben. Your mom talked to mine.” He stood. “Gabby, I’m so sorry. How’s he doing?”
“He’s deaf, and he’s dropping out of school.” I unlocked my door.
Matt, the boy of my dreams, the reason I was attending the University of Michigan, was at my door, ready to console me. But I didn’t want him there because I couldn’t fake a smile, flirt, or be the least bit attractive.
I stepped inside my room, and Matt followed me. “Oh, I forgot to mention that we weren’t on the best terms when he got sick, so I didn’t check on him like I should have. So it’s most likely my fault that he’s deaf because he waited so long to get treatment. And let’s not forget that he’s a music major—was a music major—so hearing is kind of important.”
“Gabby, you can’t blame yourself for what is obviously not your fault. Who would have ever imagined that he didn’t just have the flu? And that it would be meningitis, and that he would lose his ability to hear? He has a roommate. Why didn’t his roommate say something?”
“I don’t know.” I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed while sitting on Olivia’s bed.
Matt pulled the desk chair close to me and sat down, taking my hands in his. “I know this isn’t comforting to him or you or anyone else, but the truth is, it could have been worse. He could have died. But he didn’t. And now he’s going home. That’s a good thing because he’s not going home to be buried in the ground. But, yeah, it’s also sad. You’re going to miss him. You’re going to feel abandoned. Then you’re going to beat yourself up for having any feelings about yourself, like all of your thoughts should revolve around him and what he’s going through.”
I pulled my hands from his to wipe my tears. “Is that how you feel about Julianne?”
Matt returned a sad smile. “Yeah.” He sat up, scratching the back of his neck. “She’s choosing to be there for her mom. What an awful person, huh?”
I didn’t want to laugh at his sarcasm, but I couldn’t help but smile. “Ben’s going home because he can’t hear, and that’s probably really scary and confusing. How dare he?”
Matt chuckled. “That’s the spirit. They’re both awful. Why aren’t they thinking of us and our needs? Who are we supposed to hang out with on the weekends? Have they even thought about it for a second? Inconsiderate assholes.”
I covered my mouth to hide my giggle. It felt wrong to laugh while Ben was dealing with his world being turned upside down.
Matt returned a smirk.
My smile faded. “You love her.”
Lines formed along his forehead, but after a few seconds, he nodded. “Yeah.”
My heart didn’t know how to reconcile my feelings for Matt, his feelings for Julianne, and my kiss with Ben. Part of me wanted to just come out and ask Matt what the chances were of us ever being more than friends. I didn’t like not knowing things. I needed something to go right in my life, a spark of hope.