Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 44622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 223(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 223(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
"Maybe not, but the shoe fits anyway. I've missed a lot."
"Me too," she whispers. "Being here always felt…different after you left. Like I was trying to take your place or something." She shrugs awkwardly. "I didn't come much."
"You're welcome here anytime, Paisley." I meet her gaze, holding it. "My family loves you." At this point, I'm fairly sure half of them would choose her over me. I can't say that I blame them. Given half a chance, it's the choice I'd make.
She gives me a tiny smile before taking another few bites. "What was Italy like?"
"Beautiful." I push my plate away. "Lonely."
"You never…?" She bites her bottom lip. "Never mind. Don't answer that. It isn't my business."
"No, I was never with anyone." I hold her gaze, unflinching. "It's always been you."
"Ridley." There's a warning in her tone, like she's telling me I'm skating too close to forbidden territory, but there's relief in her gaze, too, as if the truth settles her.
"I told you that you haunted me. I meant it, baby. You were everywhere."
"Ridley." Her fork clangs against her plate.
"You still haunt me."
"You think it's any different for me?" She jerks her head up, her eyes narrowing on me. "There were times when I wished I could get over you because then it would have hurt less, but I couldn't. You broke me."
I groan, her words hitting me right in the fucking heart. "I broke me too, baby. Christ, I broke everything, didn't I?"
"I don't know," she whispers.
I rise from the table, circling to her. I kneel beside her chair, reaching up to curve my hand around her jaw. To my surprise, she doesn't pull away. She nestles her face into my hand, and that gives me hope. Hope that I didn't break us beyond repair. And hope that she's still willing to give me a chance I don't deserve.
"I'm going to fix it, Dimples. I swear to you, I won't stop trying until you know how much I wish I'd never fucked it up in the first place."
"Don't break me again, Ridley," she whispers, a soft plea in her voice. "Please. I can't."
"Never again," I vow, determined to keep that promise no matter what.
Chapter Six
Paisley
"Thanks for dinner," I murmur, lingering at the door with Ridley after dinner. I'm not really sure what else to say. It feels a little like we said it all back in the kitchen already. But I'm also not entirely sure I'm ready for him to go, either.
I'm terrified of putting my heart on the line again…and equally as terrified of not doing it. I've bounced that conundrum around all night, and I still don't really know which path to take. Either way, I think I risk heartbreak.
Maybe that's the answer. If I walk away now without giving this one more chance, I still walk away with a broken heart. I still don't get over him. But if I give him another chance, maybe it ends happily for us this time. Maybe we get it right this time.
I desperately want to find out, but I'm not the same girl I was back then…the one who jumps first and asks questions later. Life ground that habit out of me. Or maybe it was losing Ridley and Pierce that ground it out of me. I don't know. All I know is that I'm more cautious now, guarded in ways I never even considered back then.
Life forged steel into my bones, but I think it made me cautious, too. When you know what it's like to be broken, well, it's hard not to remember the pain of watching those fissures form.
"You don't owe me thanks, Dimples." He curves a hand around my waist, moving slowly, as if he's giving me time to tell him to back off. But I don't say that. I stare at his lips, wishing they were on mine again. Wishing I wasn't a nervous wreck, too afraid to tell him what I really want in this moment.
I want to be brave and bold like I was when we met three years ago…like I was when I slipped my hand inside his pants and practically demanded that he take me to bed. But I haven't been that girl in a long time. I'm the glued-together pieces of what's left of her.
He dips his head, and his lips brush my cheek.
I bite my lip, fighting a whimper.
"Sweet dreams, baby."
Stay, Ridley. Please, just stay. My mind forms the words, but my mouth won't speak them. "Sweet dreams, Ridley."
He holds onto me for a long moment before he reluctantly steps away. With one final look, he practically launches himself through the door, as if he knows he won't go any other way.
As soon as it clicks closed behind him, I regret being a coward. I regret not pressing my lips to his. I regret the whole just friends declaration. We were never friends. We were two nebulae colliding. I think we still are.