Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92411 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92411 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
My thumb strokes my ring finger. I only wore it for a few days, but my finger still feels his ring’s absence. “He’s a great guy. There are no bad feelings. It’s just . . . logistics,” I say honestly.
“It’s such a shame,” she says. “I’m a people person, Tuesday. And the chemistry between you . . .” She looks at me like she’s waiting for me to fill in the silence, but what can I say? “It felt so solid. Cemented. The duke and I both said how you reminded us of us when we were young,” she finally says. “I’m so sorry if anything I said or did put too much pressure on you both.”
I shake my head. I really don’t want to talk about this. If she’s not careful, I’m going to end up confessing everything. I really don’t want to do that.
“Do you remember me telling you about my girlfriends who were matched in marriages of convenience?” she asks. “Not all of them, but many of them fell in love with their husbands, just like Lucy Madison fell in love with Daniel De Luca in ’Til Death Do We Part.”
I listen carefully, not wanting to say anything in case I give something away I shouldn’t. Does she know Ben and I weren’t a real couple when we came to Fairfield House?
“Have you seen that one?” she asks.
It’s the only Daniel De Luca film I haven’t seen. It’s R-rated, and although I’d been desperate to watch it when it had been released, I wasn’t sitting in a movie theater with my mom, watching sex scenes. She’d obviously felt the same way, as she never suggested we go.
“Are you sure you can’t work it out?” the duchess asks. “Ben must be able to work remotely. Can’t you split your time between New York and London? I have a number of friends who’ve done that over the years.”
I smile despite my discomfort. She’s not going to make this easy for me.
“Ben and I . . . There are too many obstacles to overcome.”
“Did you have a fight?” she asks. “Whatever it is . . . Is it really a deal-breaker?”
“Yes. I . . . We . . . I think I rushed into a new relationship after the breakdown of my previous one.” Well, that’s true, at least. I need to be focused on me and my future, not pour all my attention into a new relationship.
“Just because something’s quick doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You two are soulmates, just like George and me.”
A shiver runs across my shoulders. Did she see something between us that made her feel that way?
“I don’t know.”
“What don’t you know?” she asks. “Don’t do something you’re going to regret. Mark my words. I nearly left the duke before we were married. I wasn’t sure I was ready for the scrutiny of being a duchess—all that expectation and whispering behind your back. There were a lot of women after George, and I wasn’t sure I was up for the fight. Wasn’t sure he was worth it. But he was. We’ve had such a happy life together. It’s not been without its obstacles, let me tell you. But don’t let go of things you know will make you happy, Tuesday. Promise me.”
I started my vision board on Monday afternoon, but the process proved more difficult than I remembered. I’ve fallen out of the habit of looking at my life and thinking about what I want.
After the initial rush of learning I had a place on the management fast track, I couldn’t muster much enthusiasm for my position at the bank. The job and Jed had been mixed up together; they seemed to come as a package deal. The job with the bank made sense when Jed and I were working toward a life together. But without that future, how does the bank fit into my future? I don’t see how it can.
Was Ben right? Maybe I took the job at the bank because they asked me, plain and simple. Working there fit with Jed’s vision of our future, and I never found a reason to say no.
“I know Ben’s probably difficult, just like George is. They’re both so focused and driven it can be infuriating at times. I see that in Ben. But I also see the same attentiveness. The same devotion and care that made me say yes to George all those years ago.”
My heart begins to race at her mention of the word devotion. It’s such an evocative word, and one I feel in my gut. The bath. The French House. The flowers.
“When you find a man who loves you like Ben loves you, think twice before you walk away.”
Emotion rises in me and I struggle to keep it down. I’m being ridiculous. Ben and I were never a serious thing. Undoubtedly we had sexual chemistry, but that’s not love. That’s not devotion. Is it?