Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 107660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
It didn’t explain the orgasm.
Maybe it had to do with Lucian. Maybe he was the reason I came.
No.
Hell. No.
This had everything to do with me and nothing to do with him.
In fact, even if I couldn’t explain why I wanted to be spanked, I had to believe I could recreate the experience with anyone—if I had someone to recreate it with.
Doubt hummed in my mind, creating a driving need to prove it.
I looked around my apartment, scrambling for a solution. My gaze landed on my phone and a lightbulb went off. I tossed my laptop aside and grabbed the device, sending a message before I could second guess my plan.
Me: You have five minutes.
I held my breath.
Ash: I’ll be there in fifteen.
His response didn’t induce the relieved exhale I expected. Instead, I stared at the screen for so long, questioning my sanity, that the words started to blur.
Breathe, Aspen.
I released a rush of air and proceeded to pace around my apartment. I laid the blanket across the back of the couch and practiced what to say, ignoring the pinch in my gut that whispered this was all wrong.
It wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t.
Ash was the only other person I let go with—or tried to. He was someone I knew I could find a connection and release with. Not an orgasm kind of release, but that was because I held back. But I still experienced moments when my mind turned off with Ash. If I gave him more control, then I would find the same pleasure as I had with Lucian.
If nothing else, I’d use this to remind myself that I was able to release the tension with anyone I chose. I’d use it to prove that I controlled my body and its reactions. Not Lucian Daire.
Knock, knock.
My heart lurched into my throat.
I took a deep breath and pushed my shoulders back, committing to my plan, and opened the door.
“Aspen.”
I studied his square jaw and full lips like always. Except this time, I found his smooth, clean-shaven cheeks lacking, craving scruff and lines of experience. When I looked into his dark eyes, they didn’t appear as deep and promising as I originally thought.
Lucian’s were darker.
The thought rang as the perfect reminder for why I messaged Ash in the first place.
I didn’t need Lucian to orgasm.
“Come on in.”
I stepped back and closed the door behind him, falling into our usual routine.
Lock the door.
Move to the couch.
Bend over.
Get my phone out.
Set the timer.
The clink of his belt sounded right on time, and my body tensed. “Wait.”
I needed different than our usual routine. I needed to recreate the scenario from last night. The problem was, Ash didn’t know, which meant I needed to ask. It meant I had to take control of the situation, a counteractive step.
But, just for a minute. I’d get us started and then he’d take over. It would work.
“You good?” he asked.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Y—you know how you always wanted to…try something new?”
“Of course. Especially with you,” he murmured, resting his hand on my hip.
My thighs clenched, fighting the urge to shift away from the contact.
“What were you thinking?”
“Co—Could you maybe…” The words struggled past the nerves threatening to choke me. Determined to make this work, I swallowed hard and blurted, “Could you spank me?”
If it hadn’t been for his hand clenching against my hip, I would have guessed he hadn’t understood.
Except he did—making the silence unbearable. Making me regret it. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have asked,” I rambled, trying to backtrack. I tried to stand, but his grip held me still. “Seriously, I sh—”
“No, no,” he said, but the pause was burned into my memory. “Of cour—”
“It’s okay. I know it was a weird thing t—”
“It’s not weird. I’m tota—”
“Just forget I as—”
“I don’t want to forg—”
“I shouldn’t ha—”
Smack.
The impact shocked the air from my lungs, taking the words with it.
“Like that?” he asked softly.
I focused on the sting, waiting for it to warm its way up my spine and release my muscles. But the sensation expanded uncontrolled, and I struggled to focus. My brows pulled low while I tried to pinpoint why it didn’t feel the same.
Because he’s not Lucian.
No. Not that.
“Maybe…maybe try to use less of your hand,” I suggested.
Another smack. This one too soft and more like a tap.
“Umm…try to use more of your palm.”
Smack.
Closer, but still not right.
An ache pierced between my eyes and stretched around, spreading down my neck.
“What if you tried to do a few in a row and spread them out?”
He did as I instructed, but spread them too far apart. They spanned from the bottom curve of my right cheek to the top, and then around to almost my left thigh.
The muscles between my shoulder blades ached from the increasing tension, screwing tighter and tighter. I searched for what to ask for and hated every idea because I didn’t want to think at all. When Lucian had spanked me, I didn’t say a word—I just let go.