Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 107660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
“No need to worry there, princess. I’m always safe.”
“Good for you.” I deadpanned. “So? Are you two a couple—open relationship or otherwise?”
“Again, why do you care?”
Good fucking question.
Lifting my chin, I tried to mask the driving need to know. “Curious, I guess.”
“Hmmm…” He dragged it out before finally putting me out of my misery. “We are not a couple—casual or otherwise. However, in this community, it helps to have a certain amount of familiarity which tends to come with repeat experiences together. With that comes a certain level of trust and understanding about someone’s limits. Allowing you to go further with your play. Allowing it to be more intense.”
“So, you’re not in a relationship, but you have spent enough time together to form a bond of trust and comfort…so you can play together?” I guessed.
“Yes. When we are at the club, if she happens to be here, then we will usually partner together for the evening—if we want to.”
“Hmmm…” Now it was my turn to hum—to buy myself time to figure out what the fuck the mess of heated chaos swirling between my head and chest and down to my thighs was.
Imagining that level of trust between two people sounded more intense than any relationship I’d been in.
Imagining having that level of trust created an excited buzz that had me shifting against the smooth leather.
Imagining Lucian having that level of trust with Emily created—
Nothing.
I cut the thought off, fearing that the more I prodded it, the more it would grow into something I didn’t want to think about. I’d already ignored one warning sign tonight and look where that got me.
“Why would you not want to partner together?”
“Sometimes, we partake in various scenes without each other. Sometimes, I’m not looking for anything sexual, and I’ll find a different kind of release with impact play.”
My brows pinched. “You don’t find spanking a woman sexual?”
“Didn’t you just say that despite me spanking you, it wasn’t sexual?” he asked with a raised brow.
“Well, yes. But…I came to you to…to…to zone out.” I stumbled for the right words. Trying to figure out how to state my thoughts, I looked around, taking it all in. Couples pressed closer. Hands drifted under clothes. “In a place like this, how can it not be sexual?”
“Like Rose said, spanking can release endorphins, creating a different kind of relaxation.”
“But like you said, there has to be some form of trust and familiarity to let go, which alludes to a connection of sorts.”
He smirked. “Why, Aspen, are you saying we have a connection?”
My face flamed, and I hoped the shadows hid it. “I—”
“Hey, you ready?” Rose asked, saving me from having to answer. She set two glasses of wine on the table and reclaimed her seat.
I blinked away from Lucian and lunged for the glass, ignoring his low, rumbled laugh.
“I’ll take that as ready as you’ll ever be,” Rose chuckled.
“That about sums it up.”
“Excuse me, ladies.” Lucian stood, his stare locked on Corbin and another man beside the stage. “I need to check on something.”
I sighed with relief, grateful for the space to collect myself after he verbally cornered me. However, the further he moved away, flares of panic swallowed the gratitude. Was he leaving me? Was he going to check on something—or someone—in another room? Not that I needed him there, but also, he was familiar. He hadn’t left my side since we walked in and something about him leaving now felt wrong.
Although, I guess I did need him there to watch me come. I needed to prove to myself and him that I could come without him.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be back. Something tells me he wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Rose said.
“Of course. Yeah. I’m totally fine. He can totally leave.”
If I say totally one more time…
Rose smiled. “It’s okay to be nervous.”
“I’m not going to lie and say I’m not.”
“It’s good to be honest with yourself. Sometimes we put on a badass face to prove to them we can, but always be honest with yourself.”
“Have you ever done…anything like this before?”
She laughed. “Oh, yeah. But I fucking love exhibitionism. I love having people watch me get fucked, having them watch Corbin own me and let them know he’s mine and I’m his. Or having the crowd’s eyes on you—wanting you. God, it’s such a high to feel so fucking desirable.”
The way she described it allowed a tinge of excitement to bleed into my nerves. An excitement I remembered experiencing and relishing in as a teen—before it was taken from me. Memories tried to take this budding excitement now, but I shoved them down, ignoring them like I always did.
I’d come to The Berkshire to learn—to let go, but now, I needed to be in control.
“It’s also okay to back out,” she said softly.
I looked to the stage.