Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 52357 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 209(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52357 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 209(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
My mind is on her. Dia.
I picture her curled up on the couch in her condo with that menace of a dog that only lets me come in without going into a teeth showing snarl and wanting to attack like she does everyone else. Dia’s eyes are probably swollen from crying, poor Skye unable to help her human, while Dia clutches a shirt or picture of Clutch in her arms. She is probably sitting in the same spot for hours on end trying to figure out how to let go.
Clutch was good to her. I met him a few times when he came through Catawba on runs, but avoided any kind of real talk after we had our talk.
“Clutch,” I walk up to the man wearing a damn black polo under his cut, “thinkin’ we should talk.”
He studies me. I’m sure trying to size me up.
I stand six feet, three inches to his maybe five eleven height. I’m broad shouldered and muscled while he’s more soft dad bodied. The ink covering my arms and up my neck is all done in color. Archie comic strip style, Batman pow cartoon, Popeye the sailor, Brutus, and Olive cover different places. I have a little of this and that, even my serious ink is done like a cartoon. My Hellions insignia on my back is the only thing not done in the same style as the rest of my body. Although, I have one miniature insignia that is a cartoon. It’s on the black and white Mickey and Minnie Mouse bride and groom Dia joked about me getting cover my heart. She doesn’t know it because that part wasn’t finished back then. Mickey has a Hellions cut. Clutch doesn’t need to know that. While I may be covered in all visible areas in cartoons, I’m not someone to take for a joke.
He knows it.
He reads me.
“She’s with me now,” he mutters with his shoulders rolled back. I’ll give him credit. He isn’t avoiding my gaze. He’s got half a sack anyway.
“I know. What I need you to know is don’t take that shit for granted. That woman in your bed, she’s everything. She’s the whole motherfuckin’ package.”
He shakes his head. “I know what I got. You’re the one who didn’t see what he had while he had it. Don’t come for mine, Toon.”
I throw my hands up in surrender. “I know what I gave up and why. I’m just here to tell you man to man, I’ll always love her. I’ll always belong to her. She needs me, I’m gonna be there. Even fuckin’ you, she’s still got love for me whether you admit that to yourself or not. What we share it doesn’t go away. But I’m man enough to know I’m not good enough for her. You got your shit locked down safe. You got no baggage. Got no baby momma’s, hell no exes, good credit, money in the bank, and no blood damning your soul to Hell.”
He raises his hand interrupting me. “You fuckin’ looked into me?”
I nod and smirk. “Sure did.”
“Brother,” he says the word in disdain, “get you got history with Dia. Not gonna take that away. She’s told me who you are to her, both then and now. But I’m off limits to you. I’ll respect you got past times with her. That’s all you get. You had her first, but Toon, I’m gonna have her last and always.”
“Good,” I tell him and he steps back in shock blinking wildly at me. “I want you to love her always and until the end of her days. Just know I’m gonna be in the shadows loving her from afar. I won’t come around. I won’t even be anything more than a memory to her. Unless you cross a line. If she sheds one tear over you, I’m comin’ for you. I’m comin’ to hold her up until she’s good without you. But for your safety I hope you love her right with every breath you got. She deserves nothing less than that.”
Before he can say another word I walk away. I said what needed to be shared. He knows where I stand.
The way BW and Tripp, hell everyone, spoke of him, Dia was his world.
She deserved that. I wanted that for her.
Inside I hate him … I hate him for being what I couldn’t.
I respect him too.
He gave her everything I wouldn’t.
And now he’s gone.
She’s alone.
How can she wrap her head and heart around it when I can’t even make sense of it.
After an hour of catch up, I head back to the short term rental I got in Cedar Point. It’s an old park model camper, set up on the canal. It’s got a nice lot, quiet. I kick off my boots before sitting on the edge of the mattress. It feels weird to be back in this town, but not uncomfortable. In fact, the weight that sits on my chest somehow feels lighter while the pain in my head feels heavier if that can even be possible.