Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 96752 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96752 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“Why don’t you come back up? Or let me call and find someone for you to hang out with.”
He shakes his head. “No. I don’t think Reid wants to see me right now.” A long breath and then there’s resolve in his eyes. “Tell him I’m going to a meeting and I’ll spend the night with a friend. Tell him I won’t break my promises. And that I’m sorry. Are you sure you want to see him tonight? He’ll likely be better in the morning. More in control.”
I need him to understand that he doesn’t need to be in control all the time. “I’m going to see him. Will you get me on the elevator since I don’t trust him to not lock me out?”
He nods and when he puts in the code for the elevator, I give him a hug.
“You’re good for him,” he whispers. “Don’t let him convince you otherwise.”
I wave good-bye and hope he finds some peace at his meeting. His AA meeting, if I’m right. I’m still processing the information when the door opens and I walk into the darkened foyer. I make my way into the living room, but someone’s gone all broody and left off the lights. Moonlight filters in and I see the shadow of Reid standing by the window. A lonely god watching over his kingdom from high.
Or simply a man who feels like the world is crashing in on him.
“Jer, I don’t want to talk about this again. Please. I know how it makes you feel, but I need to stand here and drink. Please let me.” He doesn’t turn around.
“He’s going to a meeting. He wanted you to know. He’s not going to a bar,” I say quietly.
Reid turns. “Harper? What the hell are you doing here?”
Not the welcome I hoped for, but I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. “Well, my boyfriend is upset, and I thought I would come over and comfort him. Have you eaten anything? I skipped out on Lydia’s dinner, so I could eat. Pizza? Or should I hunt around and see what I can make? Warning. I’m not a good cook so you’re probably looking at sandwiches. I can make sandwiches.”
He sets down the glass he’s holding and moves toward me. “You should go. I’m not capable of playing the nice guy tonight.”
“So don’t,” I reply. “How about we both stop playing and be who we are? I think we’ve actually done a lot of that, but I also understand people are complex and you can be nice most of the time and also something of an asshole.”
“I’m all asshole tonight, Harper. And if you’ve come up here to point out all the ways I’ve wrecked your life, don’t bother. I’ve already made a list.”
Oh, my tiger has a thorn in his paw, and he’s going to fight me to take it out. “You haven’t wrecked my life. We made a mistake. Ivy corrected it. She and Heath think they have all the footage. Even if it gets out, I’m not ashamed.”
“It wouldn’t get out if you had been with anyone else. No one would care. There would have been some immature giggling, and everyone would have moved on.”
He’s missing the point. “But I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
He grips me by the shoulders as if he can shake some sense into me. “She’s not going to stop. She’ll get what she wants out of me or she’ll break me. Either way, I can’t let you in.”
Maybe we should revisit the whole assassin plan. I step into his space, putting my arms around him. “I’m already in. Reid, don’t fight me on this. We can do it the hard way or the easy way, and I would rather go easy. It’s been a hell of a day.”
He stands there stiffly for a moment. “I’m not talking to you about it.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I don’t know what you want.”
And that’s the problem. He thinks I want something. “I want my boyfriend to feel better. I want my boyfriend to know he has me no matter what.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
I tilt my head up. “I do.”
“And if what will comfort me is sex?” He makes the words a challenge.
“Well, I would probably find it comforting, too.”
His hand snakes up my neck, and his fingers tangle in my hair, twisting lightly. “You would let me do it to you again?”
“You’re being dramatic. It’s a whole other side of you.” I’m not going to let him push me to anger. “I let you do it all the time. We kind of fuck like rabbits.”
“I’m not the man you think I am.”
I run my hands up his chest. If this is what he needs, I’ll give it to him. “I’m under no illusions that you’re perfect. I’m well aware that you might rip me up tonight, but I’m still here.”