Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 54522 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 218(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54522 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 218(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
I try to shake the thoughts from my head, unable to keep them away. It’s as if she’s trying to torment me even from beyond the grave in order to save my soul and keep me from being the devil I’ve become. But I won’t bend, not even to these memories that plague me tonight. My sister’s death was my fault. I’m responsible for that atrocity, losing a beautiful, gentle young life that wound up being nothing more than collateral damage in a hit gone wrong. I will never forgive myself for that, a rookie mistake that I let happen when I first took over things. And since I couldn’t protect her then, I control everything now.
Standing here, I find it too easy to remember her face and the sound of her voice calling my name before she was shot. I could have saved her, but I hesitated. I didn’t want her to see me as a monster, not after how much she idolized me growing up at my side. Foolishly, I believed I could bargain for her life without letting her down. I aimed to rescue my younger sister, to embody the hero she believed me to be, and shield her from the darkness and pain within our family. I wanted to protect her, and I failed. I was too late. It was the first and last attempt at diplomacy that I ever engaged in.
As soon as her body fell to the ground, something inside of me broke, and I swore never to allow weakness or feelings to control me again. That made it easy to slaughter everyone responsible for my sister’s death, and easier to be merciless toward everyone that I’ve killed since. Feeling things were an obstacle to killing, one that I got rid of the moment I watched my innocent sister die. Or at least I thought I had gotten rid of it. Now, standing outside the ballerina’s bedroom, I’m dealing with an additional problem and grappling with a predicament I had hoped to never face again. Isla Hart makes me feel. Even in the short time that I’ve had her here. She’s clawed open a fresh wound and ignited a wildfire from the ash of what was an intentional annihilation of my past. And that is a weakness that I simply can’t allow to consume me again.
I finish my second drink and set my glass down on the counter before walking to the room that Isla is in. I know I should leave and call Junior back to his post. I have more important work to do than babysit this ballerina, and in a way, it’s almost self-masochistic to put myself through this. Rather than walking away, I open the door slowly and stand there, feeling like an intruder in my building. Inside the room, the city lights cast shadows that dance across Isla’s face. She looks so peaceful while she sleeps, like an angel with her halo of hair spread out against her pillow. Everyone knows an angel is the last thing a devil needs. Innocence packaged up inside a beautiful being like Isla would be nothing short of my downfall. I can’t allow myself the luxury of distraction, especially not when that distraction is an innocent woman who witnessed me kill a man. Watching her on stage brought a welcome moment of peace and relief at the ballet. I found it detached and entertaining. This is too close. I should have killed her as soon as she saw me there, or had my men kill her when she ran. Now I have this little bird captive in my penthouse with no fucking idea what to do with her.
Luc was right when he said that I can’t keep her here forever, but I can’t just set her free, either. Caged birds sing when they’re released, and I can’t trust that Isla wouldn’t do the same. I remind myself that control over the situation is the most important thing. At some point soon, Celeste Durant will start asking questions about the disappearance of her dancer. The elderly woman’s past intersects with my family’s, a secret Isla would find shocking, creating complications. Knowing how fiercely protective the Ballet Mistress is of her dance troupe, I can only imagine the lengths that Celeste would go to in order to acquire the safe return of her star ballerina. She’s made secret deals with the mafia before, and for a dance teacher, she knows a lot more than she lets on. I’ll need to deal with that at some point. But for right now, I need to deal with the problem right in front of me.
I stand in the doorway and watch Isla sleep. For such a fragile creature, there is something about her that unsettles me deeply—something that threatens to bring me to my knees if I’m not careful. Another reminder that this woman is simply another thing I will need to maintain tight control over to prevent that from happening.