Total pages in book: 52
Estimated words: 49005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 245(@200wpm)___ 196(@250wpm)___ 163(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 245(@200wpm)___ 196(@250wpm)___ 163(@300wpm)
Though they’re warm and thoughtful, the men seem to be holding back this morning. I may be overthinking, but since my heart isn’t going to be able to make a choice, all I can do is think harder and try to figure things out with my head.
Over breakfast, Jasper asks, “When can we see you again? We’d like to spend Christmas with you.”
“Our grandparents went north to visit family,” Felix adds.
I twist my napkin in my lap. “I don’t know what I’m doing on Christmas.” I want to be with them, but I want to be with Nick and Rudy, too. I’ve been trying to split my time equally among the brothers, but a special day like Christmas presents a problem. Maybe the best thing for me to do is to spend the holiday alone. “I’ll let you know very soon.”
Jasper starts to say something, but Felix speaks over him, giving me a smile. “That’s okay. Let us know when you’re able.”
“Thank you for bringing me here. I had a truly wonderful night,” I tell them both.
“So did we,” Jasper says.
Later, at home, I’m still troubled, and the more I think about things, the further I seem to get from clarity. This isn’t the type of decision you can solve with a pros and cons list.
“Do you think they’ll just let me carry on dating all of them?” I ask Cupid, who’s sitting by the back window watching a single dried, brown leaf blow around on the back patio.
She turns and looks at me and meows.
“Yeah, I don’t think so, either.”
A few weeks ago, it clearly seemed that one set of brothers was naughty and the other nice, but now, after getting to know all of them better, I’ve learned they’re all a perfect blend of both, the kind of men to keep me both excited and content forever. If only I didn’t have to choose.
I crouch and give my kitty’s head a few rubs, making her purr. “I need a Christmas miracle, Cupid.”
The Frost brothers text me on Monday to ask if we can get together for coffee after work. I’m tense, afraid they’re going to expect a decision when I meet them at the same shop where we had our first date.
I could never have imagined then how these past few weeks would have gone. Even though the Winters flirted with me that day, too, I didn’t think I’d end up dating all of them … and that I’d fall in love with all of them.
“We don’t want to pressure you,” Nick says, “but we’d like to spend Christmas with you.”
“We definitely don’t want you to spend it alone,” Rudy says, somehow having read my mind.
They’re being very gracious not putting pressure on me, when Christmas is only three days away.
“I know I need to make a choice,” I tell them. “It’s almost all I can think about, but I need a little more time.”
The Winters text that night to tell me again what a great time they had with me on our overnight date.
“We hope to see you again soon,” Jasper says.
“Our day is open on Christmas, if you’re free,” Felix says. “No pressure.”
Even though I’m typically a decisive person, I’m becoming less and less certain that I’ll ever be able to make a choice between these men. I can’t keep leading them all on, though.
If I can’t choose, maybe I should just break things off with all of them, though the thought of that is even more painful than trying to make a decision.
Chapter 28
It’s mid-morning on Christmas Eve, and the library is closed, so I have nothing to keep me busy, and nothing to distract me from feeling terrible.
I’m more conflicted than ever, and on top of my confusion, I also feel bad that all the men are potentially holding up their holiday plans while they wait to hear from me. Now that it’s the day before Christmas, I should just tell all of them to do something else, because I can’t bring myself to choose, no matter how hard I try.
Maybe things will be more clear when the romance of the holiday season has passed. Or maybe I’ll have made all of the men so angry with my wishy-washiness that they’ll move on. That would be horrible, but I just don’t know what to do.
On more than one occasion, I’ve been tempted to ask my sister to be a sounding board, but she’s about to give birth any day. And where would I start, to try to tell her I’ve been dating four men?
As I’m pacing my living room and mentally composing the message I’ll send separately to both sets of brothers about tomorrow’s plans, movement outside the front window catches my eye.
There’s something small and white floating around. Dozens of little white things. It takes many long seconds before they finally register as snowflakes. It’s snowing!