Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 72944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
He needed his head examined.
I was a pain in the butt and we both knew it.
“There we go.” Slowly lowering me to the chair, my naughty man kissed my cheek. “In the future, I’m going to get you some straps to help you sit carefully in your seat, but for right now, you’re just going to be a good boy for me.”
Or what?
Straps?
Like a high chair?
Oh.
Maybe sitting carefully would be a good idea.
He was devious.
He made me nervous and wiggly.
“Yes.” My naughty man smiled bigger and happier when I gave a tiny wiggle. “I thought you’d be careful.”
’Cause he was naughty.
“Good boy.” My naughty man knew he’d won because he kissed my nose again. “So cute.”
He was so silly.
But I had my quiet toy in and I didn’t have to tell him that. So I couldn’t get in trouble and lose my reward. Or make him sad. That would be bad too. He might not know he was silly, so I had to be nice. And nice meant quiet and letting him be in charge.
Of everything.
Hmm.
Everything made me wiggle too.
And it made my naughty man smile bigger.
Maybe he did know he was silly…and naughty?
“So cute.” His head kiss made me think he knew…but I still didn’t want to be mean. “And such a good boy too so I’m going to have fun rewarding you.”
I got rewards when I was good and the bigger the good the bigger the reward.
I just had to figure out what got the biggest rewards. ’Cause I wanted those and I wanted to go to the zoo and to get special kinds of cuddles from my naughty man. There was lots of stuff that I wanted, so I was good and wiggled my feet and wiggled my bottom and watched my naughty man buzz around the kitchen like a busy bee.
“Can you smell that?” My naughty man sucked in air and made a happy sound. “I followed your recipe and I can’t wait.”
My naughty man was a good cooker person but he liked using my ideas too. He said it made the food even more special. Bigger bigger special. Did he like bigger bigger special food when he wanted to control everything?
“Oh, look at that.” My naughty man took it out of the oven and had his good job smile on his face. “We’re going to enjoy this.”
Yes.
Very very yes.
I was very very patient too because I sat still while my naughty man got out a big bowl for him and a plate bowl for me and even got me milk in a sippy cup thing.
He remembered.
It even had more animals on it like my new plate.
“Don’t worry. I’m going to help with everything.” My naughty man looked naughty excited about that too. “I even got you special spoons to make sure it’s easy to eat.”
Huh?
Oh.
My naughty man got me an animal spoon from the zoo. He got the lion one. Did he get the monkey one? They had lots of spoons and lots of forks. I’d never asked for those, though, but my naughty man knew they were special.
I had to see but my fingers were stuck.
My mouth was stuck too.
So I waved and whined like my naughty man said to.
“Do you want to see it?” He was smart and handed me the special spoon. “How about you hold one and I hold one too?”
More?
I got more.
I liked more.
“Here you go.” My naughty man, who might not be too naughty, gave me my spoon and he kissed my head. “Monkeys for me.”
Oh.
I got monkeys too.
I’d let my naughty man have my monkey.
I could share.
My naughty man brought food and the monkey spoon over to the table and sat down beside me. He was in the wrong spot. So I glared at him and his spot. He laughed. “When I’m helping you with dinner I’m going to sit here. When I’m not in control of everything, I’ll sit in my regular spot.”
I guess that was okay.
Maybe.
Oh, mac-n-cheese.
Yes.
“I’m going to trade food for the quiet toy but you still have to be quiet.” My naughty man raised one eyebrow. “Good boys get rewards, right?”
Nodding, I was the bestest as he took the quiet toy out and put it on the table. I even opened my mouth and waited like a baby bird. He thought I was funny and laughed but I got my food. My yummy food. My creamy food. My crunchy-top food.
I was good when I waited for my naughty man to have a bite too.
I was really really super good when I waited for him to give me my milk.
And I was really amazing good and didn’t drop my special spoon.
“Look at my good boy eating all his food.” My naughty man took his turn. “Do you need more or are you all done?”
Hmm.
Oh.
I waved my hands like he’d shown me.