Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 119476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
After the night Rand—God, I still can’t say it.
Anyway, I cracked open my piggy bank and hid all of the money in it just to be safe. Ever since then, I’ve been keeping all of the cash and change I find on the counter or in the laundry.
I know I’ll need money for when I escape—and I will escape, because there’s something wrong with me, Diary. Something very, very wrong, and I think I need help.
For the last few weeks, I’ve been off. At first I thought that whatever Mama had was hereditary, because I’ve been so tired and so nauseous.
But this morning, my boobs started hurting, almost like they do before my period—oh my God! My period.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
This can’t be happening. It just can’t be.
I don’t know what to do. I—oh, God, he’s home.
Everything I know is about to change. So much change. Over and over again. Because I was right. Typically, I like being right, but right now, I really wish I wasn’t.
This is what happens when you tempt the universe. Or maybe this is all karma for a past life? I don’t know. God. I can’t stop crying.
Which is weird in and of itself. Lose both my parents, and not a tear—but in the last few hours, I think I’ve filled Lake Fortune ten times over.
I guess I need to backtrack, but it’s hard. My thoughts—they’re spiraling like they’re caught in the middle of a cyclone, random words flying out like deadly pieces of debris.
Word soup, Mama used to call it.
Rand came home from work and let me out of the basement. Said he had to do some work in the yard and that he wanted the house spotless and dinner on the table before he came back in.
I was putting the toilet cleaner away in his bathroom when the box caught my eye.
I’m not sure why Mama had these—well, I guess I am, I’m not an idiot. I just don’t want to think about it. Not now, not ever.
But anyway, I know I’ve gone on about being unlucky and the universe hating me, but in that moment, it felt like something was finally going my way.
That is, until I peed on the stick and two pink lines bled across the window faster than I could recap the stupid thing.
Then it felt like my entire life was ending. Or maybe it’s just beginning.
I don’t know. GOD! I just don’t know. I’m not fit to be a mother. I’m barely grown. I have no real high school education, much less a diploma, no money other than what’s in my sock, no job, and no prospects. I don’t know anything about being an adult, much less raising a child.
I may as well be Rapunzel in her tower, only there’s no prince coming to save me.
No. You know what, forget that. I don’t need a stupid prince on a stupid horse. I’ll be my own prince. I’ll save myself, and the little life growing inside me.
I know it’s not ideal, but I—I don’t know how to describe it. I’m scared. Terrified, really. But at the same time, for the first time in a really long time, I feel hope.
Like I’m finally not alone.
But Rand can’t know. Not ever. Which is why I have to get out of here, and fast.
Worried, Nora
Dear Diary,
I’m going to do it. I’m going to run.
I have to, because I finally have something to live for.
When I first saw those two pink lines, it was a blow that stung harder than any slap or punch ever could. I was devastated. I’m not sure I’m fit to be a mother, but I’m damn sure going to protect this child from the monster down the hall. He will never know it exists. He will never lay one finger on my baby. Not ever.
Some might think the life growing inside of me would be a reminder of all I’ve lost—of all of the pain I’ve endured, the hurt, and the terror. And in a way, they’re right. But it also gives me hope. Now I have something—someone—to fight for. I have a family.
Anxiously, Nora
Dear Diary,
I hope this finds you in time—that you can help me, that you believe me.
Please believe me...
I had to run sooner than planned… He’s too unpredictable. I can’t take any unnecessary risks, not anymore, not when I have so much to lose.
It’s funny, I used to want to die, for him to hit me so hard I would never wake up, but now? Now I want to live. I have to live.
If you’re reading this still, look for me in the place where the lake meets the shore. I’ll wait for you as long as possible. I understand if you can’t come, or if you don’t want to...but I really hope you do.