Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 39245 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39245 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
“I can tell by your silence that you’re understanding the ramifications,” Finn said in a low voice. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard. “You could possibly get away with another twenty years, but then you’d have to disappear. I can’t see how you’d be able to live with that.”
He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t imagine a life without music. It had been his everything for so long. Not that he’d give it up. He could still create. But to not put his creations out into the world? To not perform? He stared at Finn, at this beautiful man who’d crawled into his heart and made a permanent place. “There has to be a solution,” he whispered. “We can’t give up on this. Tell me something. I’ve read about soulmates—is there only one for each of you?”
Finn looked at him. “Yes.”
“And it took you three hundred and forty years to find yours.”
“I didn’t expect it to ever happen.”
“What you’re feeling for me…you’re sure?”
“Ajax, it didn’t take me long to realize that what I was feeling was something powerful. And it didn’t take me long to understand that by having you, I’d be taking away the biggest part of who you are. What you are. You’re an artist, and you create beautiful music. I’ve seen you singing live in videos. You love performing. You were born to perform.” He frowned. “I shouldn’t have let this get as far as I did, but I couldn’t resist you.”
Ajax felt like he couldn’t breathe, his chest tight, lungs frozen. Twenty years. He could probably get away with twenty years. Then what? But as he stared at this kind, protective man he’d fallen for, he couldn’t imagine any kind of life without him.
Was there really a choice?
Chapter Nineteen
Finn
Finn watched Ajax a lot over the next two days, which remained uneventful. Ajax worked on his music, and though they’d had sex and spent a lot of time holding each other, Ajax was quieter than usual. Finn knew he was thinking about what Finn had told him. And Finn didn’t know what else to say. It felt kind of hopeless to him, but there was still a thread of hope that burned like one of Ajax’s constant candles. He tried to ignore it because no matter how he framed their situation in his mind, it always ended with him taking away a major part of Ajax’s life.
He should have called Xavier and got someone else on this job, but he couldn’t stay away. He wanted as much time as possible with the man because he loved him. Truly loved him. And with that love came the fear of abandonment he’d always felt. He’d never let himself care about people other than the friendships he had with his coworkers. But this was something entirely different. This was a deep connection he felt to his soul. Touching Ajax made his body burn, and just flat out being in his presence made his heart sing.
There was still the option of not going through the final bonding spell. He could be with Ajax through the rest of his lifetime. Worry about the many lonely years when they happened.
He stopped walking where he’d been patrolling the acreage with Dax. So lost in his thoughts, he had forgotten the ogre was with him.
“Finn?” Dax spoke quietly. “You okay?”
He briefly closed his eyes, knowing why his friend was worried. Normally, he was all smiles, but everything about this situation had been so emotional, he wasn’t his usual self.
“Sorry, was in my head.” Finn was tall, but Dax still towered over him, so he looked up to find his friend watching him closely.
“Ajax is your soulmate, isn’t he?”
Finn nodded slowly, his chest still tight. “Yes, but there are…issues.” He didn’t go into them.
“You’re lucky. I’ve watched my parents and their bond my whole life. It’s a special gift, to have a soulmate.”
“Tell me, did you know humans could be them?”
Dax shook his head. “You’d think with all the studying, all my years on this earth, I would have come across that knowledge, but I did not. I thought only another ogre could be for me—like my parents.”
Finn had met them. They ran a shop for preternaturals that he often frequented. Friendly ogres, who were just as smart as Dax.
“When I found out Lonnie was Callan’s mate, I was shocked,” Dax continued. “I questioned Xavier, and he admitted that he’d known for a long time this could be so. It bothers me…that he didn’t tell us. Why keep that secret?”
“Why does Xavier do anything? You saw what he did to that wizard in Arizona, stripping him of his powers. Did you know he could do that?”
“I did not.”
“Honestly, that scared me. Made me determined to not ever get on his bad side. How old do you think he really is? To have his kind of power—it has to have grown over many years.”