Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 36506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 183(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 183(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Like Reid.
I could almost taste the future with us.
Ava hurries back into the kitchen and then shoos the rest of her family out so that it’s just the two of us. When we’re alone, she pulls me into a warm embrace. Mom was wrong. These people don’t want me beholden to them for money. They actually care about me. Ava is my friend.
“When are you going to talk to him?” Ava asks. “You know men are terrible at speaking their truths. Quinn is the worst. Sometimes you have to beat it out of them.”
I chuckle as I try to imagine sweet little Ava beating anyone, much less her gruff, old husband.
“Come on,” Ava says. “Let’s go grab an iced coffee and sit somewhere.”
We drive through one of the chain places and grab our favorites before she parks near a pond that’s busy with geese waddling around. The two of us remain in the vehicle, sipping our coffees and watching the birds do their thing. Finally, she speaks again.
“What about your mom? Have you spoken to her?”
Guilt claws at my chest. “I answered her texts, but I send her calls to voicemail. I just can’t with her right now.”
She’s quiet for a moment and then says, “I get that, but she’s still your mom. This situation between you is complicated and messy. She doesn’t seem to know how to navigate it either. Can you give her some grace?”
I’ve thought about it from my mom’s point of view a lot. She’s worked her whole life to take care of me and see to it that my needs were met. Reid was just another landing place in the journey that was our life. It was different with him, though. I got attached. And, as I became a woman myself, I fell for the man she couldn’t see who was right in front of her.
“She took him for granted,” I say bitterly. “And then blames him for us getting together. It was my fault too, you know.”
“It’s easier to blame him,” Ava agrees. “You’re always going to be her baby girl.”
My heart throbs painfully. I miss Mom. Her hugs, our shopping trips, all the fun times between us.
“Something’s going on with her.” I gulp down my coffee as I ponder the idea of it. “It’s like she put distance between us and now she’s mad I grew close to the person she left me with.”
Ava nods. “So, there’s more to this than you just having sex with her ex.”
“Yes,” I blurt out in frustration. “She left me to fend for myself. It’s fine. I’m eighteen. I’ve got this, but…”
“She was your best friend, and you felt abandoned.”
Tears blur the pond and geese scene before me. It’s the truth. When Mom started acting strangely, I naturally gravitated toward Reid. He became my person. Now she’s angry with me for sleeping with him, but she is negating everything she did that got us there.
“What about Reid?” Ava asks. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, but you’re going to have to speak to him, too, eventually.”
This one hurts worse, I think.
We’ve both gone radio silent.
Mom continually blows up my phone and drives by Ava’s like a stalker, but Reid has essentially disappeared. I know him. It’s because he’s eaten alive with guilt. In his warped mind, leaving me alone to repair my relationship with my mother is more important than me being with him. This is so him. Sacrifice his own happiness for others.
“He knows how to text or call,” I state bitterly. “Is he even concerned about how I feel?”
Ava sighs and then reaches over to touch my arm. “Reid is older than your mother. The way he thinks is going to be vastly different than how you think.”
Ouch.
So, he’s an adult and I’m the inexperienced kid.
“His savior complex is destroying his joy,” I mutter, shaking my head. “Why can’t he just be selfish and go for what he wants for a change? Why does he always have to be the martyr?”
“Because he’s a man.” Ava laughs. “Men like Reid and Quinn are wired that way. They’re protective to a fault, even if they think they’re protecting you from them. It’s a personality flaw for sure.”
We both giggle. It’s better than crying.
“Right now, you’re hurting, and I get that. It’s warranted,” Ava says softly. “But soon, you’re going to have to put your big girl panties on and sort out your life the way you want it. That means having difficult conversations with people you love. It means hurting some to love others. That’s life, unfortunately. It doesn’t mean you still can’t carve out your happily ever after, though.”
Silence fills the vehicle again. It’s easier to hide out at Ava and Quinn’s house with their adorable children. I can pretend my life isn’t a clusterfuck. But that’s immaturity. If I want to be a grown woman who does adult things with a man like Reid, then I need to act like one.