Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79564 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79564 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Something about his words strikes a chord within me.
Go get your happiness.
“And North is my happiness?” I ask. “You really believe that?”
“I do,” he says. “And I don’t know what else to say to make you believe it.” Rafferty stands from the table. “Ball’s in your court now.”
“North was pretty mad last night. I’m not sure he wants to talk to me.”
Rafferty lifts a shoulder. “Only one way to find out.”
I slink down in my chair, drumming my fingertips on the table. My brother makes a lot of sense, but he’s asking me to let go of years of built-up defenses to peel back my distorted lens from which I view men, trust and relationships.
It seems daunting.
Scary.
Risky.
I compare that to what I’m feeling now.
Flat.
Empty.
Sad.
It looks like it’s time for me to really think about what type of life I want and what path I’m going to choose.
CHAPTER 27
North
The private tarmac lounge at the Pittsburgh Airport is buzzing with the usual preflight chaos—luggage being loaded, guys chatting in small groups, the faint roar of jet engines in the distance. Normally, this is one of my favorite parts of our road trips. There’s a sense of camaraderie, a shared purpose—the excitement building for another game and the chance to beat an opponent on their turf.
But today, I’m in a foul mood, and every noise grates on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard.
We’ll be boarding soon and for now, everyone huddles in small pockets drinking coffee and chatting. Rafferty’s leaning against the small café bar that caters to the private fliers, talking with Atlas and Foster. King is scrolling on his phone.
“Hey,” Rafferty calls out as I approach, his voice casual but laced with concern. “Got a minute?”
“Sure,” I mutter, stuffing my hands into my jacket pockets.
“How you doing?” he asks as we step away from the group.
“Doing fine,” I say grumpily and with enough sarcasm he knows I’m not.
“Going to ask me how Farren is?” he prods.
“I assume she headed back to Calgary. That’s what she said she was going to do.”
Rafferty studies me thoughtfully. “You know, you’re not carrying off nonchalant very well. It’s okay to admit you’re upset about the way things went down.”
“Why would I be upset?” I glance around the lounge. When my eyes meet his, I shrug. “Your sister and I didn’t have anything all that deep. She wouldn’t ever let it get there so not much to be upset about.”
“Yeah, you’re full of shit,” Rafferty says. “And if it’s any consolation, Farren didn’t head to Calgary. She’s at my apartment.”
“So,” I reply, keeping my expression blank, although my heart leaps so violently, it hurts.
“So,” he drawls, his frustration evident, “she’s trying to figure her shit out.”
“Good for her.”
Rafferty narrows his eyes at me. “You’re just giving up on her?”
“She gave up on us,” I remind him.
“She was scared.” He steps closer, lowering his voice, but I hear overprotective brother mode activated. “She has reason to be, and you need to cut her a fucking break.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I cut in, my voice sharper than I intend. “I don’t have anything else to offer her. She’s broken, Raff, and I’ve got no clue how to fix her.”
“She’s not broken, North. She’s just complicated.”
I huff out a bitter laugh. “You don’t break up with someone over a stupid joke. That’s not normal.”
Rafferty sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Agreed. And trust me, I’m not defending her. It’s bullshit. But it’s her bullshit to work through and I think she’s doing just that.”
“I’m all for giving her time. But the ball’s in her court now. No offense, Raff, but I’m not chasing your sister.”
“No offense taken,” Rafferty says with a dry smile. “Honestly, I’d rather you didn’t. She needs to stand on her own two feet for once. All I’m asking is that you don’t write her off. Not yet.”
The anger that’s been simmering since Friday night starts to ebb because I’d already written her off. After weeks of Farren refusing to allow me in, keeping me at a cool distance and then throwing it all away over something stupid I wasn’t even a part of… it didn’t seem possible that this was salvageable.
But two things stand out to me. Rafferty says she has reason to be scared and that’s not something I’d really considered. I mean, there was allusion to something in her past but without context, I didn’t think it was all that important.
Second, Rafferty is telling me not to write her off. That means he must have some belief that Farren wants this to work and fuck it all… that sparks a tiny flame of hope that I thought had been completely extinguished.
Admittedly, and only to myself, I was crushed when she walked away Friday night and said she was leaving.
Running, really.
I had dared to hope that I was different, and then I got a harsh dose of reality that clearly I wasn’t.