Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 51902 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 260(@200wpm)___ 208(@250wpm)___ 173(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51902 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 260(@200wpm)___ 208(@250wpm)___ 173(@300wpm)
What was I doing?
Ty slapped my shoulder pad, pivoting on the ice to face me. “Hey, don’t let the noise get to you, big guy. It’ll pass.”
It’ll pass.
But I didn’t want this to pass. Ever. I didn’t want the good-bye, the sad end, the horrible feeling that the person I loved fucked his future for mine or—
Screech!
Love.
I loved him.
I loved Malcolm Maloney. And he didn’t know.
He thought he was doing me a favor. He’d thought I’d get over him.
I stared at the icy expanse sliced with sharp blades that spun in wide circles or ended with jagged finality, like deep cuts on skin. I’d grown up in rinks. I’d thrived on the discipline and feeling of belonging, security, and possibility I’d never felt at home. But I felt all those things with Malcolm.
And I didn’t want to spend another day without him. I had to undo what he’d fixed. And I had to do it in a big way.
I glanced at my watch, then at Ty. “I need a favor.”
I stood outside the physics building with a handful of my teammates. Ty, Langley, Brady, Regan, Pritchard. A few more were walking toward us and all of them were wearing their jerseys. Much to their amusement, we’d attracted a crowd. A few of my buddies were taking selfies with fellow students, enjoying an unscripted celebrity moment off the ice. It was good-natured and fun.
None of them understood the assignment, and maybe it would have been cool of me to explain myself, but I wasn’t ready.
“So…what are we doing?” one of the guys asked.
“We’re showing support for the science guy,” Ty answered.
He added something about it not being Malcolm’s fault that he had terrible taste in crushes. The guys laughed, but I’d stopped listening.
’Cause there he was.
Malcolm walked with his head down, his right shoulder slumping under the weight of a backpack I personally knew weighed at least ten pounds. His hair was a little unruly, but his khaki and V-neck ensemble was neat and tidy.
My pulse skyrocketed as I moved toward him, away from my teammates and onlookers, stepping onto the path in front of him. “Hey.”
“Jett. What are you…” He stopped abruptly, blinking in surprise as he noticed the audience nearby. “What’s going on?”
“They’re…never mind them.” I caught his elbow as he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, pushing his glasses higher on his adorable freckled nose. “How are you?”
How are you? Really, Jett? Fuck.
Malcolm frowned. “I’ve been better. You?”
I bit the inside of my lip hard enough to draw blood, my heart beat like a drum, reverberating through my body.
This was my shot.
This was it.
“I love you,” I blurted.
Malcolm went perfectly still.
He looked…shocked. Utterly and completely shocked.
“You…I’m…we…”
“I love you,” I repeated. “And I’ve been thinking about you and me and how nothing about us is supposed to fit—but it does.” I scrubbed my stubbled jaw and continued in a rush. “There might be a physics equation that explains us, or maybe we’re something special. You don’t walk away from special, baby. You just don’t.”
He licked his lips. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…I’m taking a chance here. On us.” I gestured at my teammates watching from a distance. “I invited these assholes along as witnesses. I want everyone to know we’re more than just very good friends. I want them to know that you’re important to me. But that’s what I want. If you don’t feel the same…then we can just stand here talking and they’ll know that we’re friends. And if you tell me friendship is all I can have, I’ll respect that. But…if you think we could be something more, I’m here to tell you I’m yours,” I said in a gravelly tone.
“Hockey is your dream.” His voice cracked and his eyes welled.
I smiled. “My dreams are bigger these days, Malcolm. I’ll always have hockey in some form or other. There’s no guarantee I’ll make it beyond the Spiders, so why would I give this up too? If I have one shot, I want it to be with you.”
Malcolm launched himself at me. “I love you.”
I hugged him tight and whispered in his ear. “Can I kiss you? If I do, everyone will know. Is that okay?”
He inched away, glancing over my shoulder and nodding. “Kiss me.”
So I did.
A loud cheer erupted. There were gasps of “Is this real?” and “Are they a couple?” in between hoots of approval. No doubt someone was taking video and photos. Let them. The only thing that mattered was right here in my arms.
All the questions and uncertainty faded. I knew without a doubt that I was on the right track with the right person, ready to take a shot at love.
EPILOGUE
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”—Henry David Thoreau
Malcolm
Three years later
Spiders fans came out in droves for Pride Night, and my goodness, they were ferocious.