Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 50801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
I shut the door behind her, making my way back up to my room to wash my sheets and restock my lotions, all the while doing my best to ignore that image that’s planted in my brain before she came downstairs.
The one of Paxton and me and forever stretching out before us.
The idea no longer terrifies me as much as it used to. In fact, it seems downright appealing, this warmth in my heart a constant welcoming feeling.
But how can I be so sure? We've only been exploring this new avenue between us for a little over six weeks. What if my inherent opposition to serious relationships and marriage somehow ruins what's between us? What if everything I thought I believed about relationships is wrong? What if I don't figure out my shit in time and end up losing my best friend?
What if I simply stopped lying to myself and be honest about the way I’ve felt about Paxton for far longer than I’ve ever admitted?
What if I be honest with him?
What if…
I'm really starting to hate those two words—
Paxton walks through the door, effectively stopping my spiral. He’s freshly showered, looking incredible in his post-practice sweats and T-shirt. All my worries compound into this sense of urgency the second he sees me, his smile stretching in this perfect way.
God, I love this man.
And I’m a coward who can’t tell him.
Instinct takes over. One second, I’m spiraling in his kitchen, and the next, I’m racing toward him, throwing my arms around his neck and pressing my lips against his.
He drops his gear bag, catching me easily, wrapping his arms around me as he kisses me back.
I pull back, my heart racing, the three words rising on the tip of my tongue.
I love you.
“I missed you,” I say on a rushed breath.
His grin deepens. “I missed you too,” he says, his lips grazing mine.
Adrenaline pulses in my veins, my fight or flight instinct kicking in. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to flight. I just want to tell this man I love him.
I kiss him, hard and fast and needy.
I’m terrified I’ll lose him. Fuck me, I can’t say it.
I’ll show him instead.
I smirk, slipping into a solid course of action that I can fully fall into. My hand drags down his chest as I gently push him against the closed entryway door. I don’t even bother trying to lead him into another room, too tangled up in the well of emotions threating to drown me.
“Fuck, Monroe,” Paxton growls as I kiss down his neck, then lower myself to my knees, dragging his athletic pants and boxer briefs down with me.
“I really, really missed you,” I say as I glance up to him, fisting his hard length in my hand. I massage his thigh with the other, flicking my tongue over his thick head.
His cock twitches from the action, and I grin as he groans. “Goddamn,” he says as I suck him entirely into my mouth.
I take him in as much as I possibly can, moving up and down on him in sure strokes. Each clench of his muscles, each moan and rough breath from his lips, drives me on. I may not be able to tell him exactly what I’m thinking right now, but at least, like this, I can show him. I’m on my knees for him, devouring him in quick movements that have his fingers sliding in my hair, gripping it gently.
“Monroe,” he growls. “I’m going to come.”
A bolt of lightning strikes my center at the sound of those words. Everything narrows to that knowledge, and I don’t dare move. I don’t stop either. I keep going, relishing the hot, heady taste of him in my mouth.
“Fuck,” he growls, his entire body flexing as he spills into my mouth.
I swallow him down, wiping beneath my eyes where they’d watered. I hurry to drag his boxer briefs and pants back up, standing with a satisfied smile on my face.
“So, are we ordering in tonight or should I cook?” I ask.
Paxton’s eyes flare as he shakes his head. “I can’t think straight right now.”
I laugh, happiness rushing through me. I reach up on my tiptoes, planting a quick kiss against his lips. He holds me against him, grinning down at me.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve that,” he says, dragging his nose over mine. “But I’m one lucky man.”
“I’m the lucky one,” I argue, resting my head against his chest as he holds me.
“Let’s order,” he says after a few moments. “After.”
“After what?” I ask, glancing up at him.
He smirks. “My turn.”
Heat blazes beneath my skin as he picks me up, cradling me to his chest as he makes a beeline for his bedroom.
Definitely the lucky one.
CHAPTER 15
PAXTON
Sweat clings to my skin beneath my uniform, my veins pumping with adrenaline.