Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45946 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 230(@200wpm)___ 184(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45946 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 230(@200wpm)___ 184(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
He winced as he recalled her yelling at him that he was too controlling.
You have to change.
“They’ll be all right for a couple of days. Marcus is busy at work, and I didn’t want to uproot him. Besides, you need my attention right now. They understand. They know you’re important to me. You can’t keep going like this, Barren.”
Barren rubbed his temple. God, the inside of his mouth was as dry as the desert. “I know,” Barren said. “I just needed to break down for a while. I spent so much of my life with Krystal and now it feels like all of those years were a waste. She said she didn’t love me. That she wasn’t sure she ever had loved me, and she only stayed with me because of my money.”
“That bitch,” Eliot said, making Barren raise his eyebrows.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Eliot call a woman a bitch.
“I’m just speaking the truth. She is a bitch to tell you that. And I don’t think it’s true, anyway. She did love you. She was just trying to hurt you.”
Well, she’d been successful.
“Is it all over for me?” he asked Eliot quietly.
Eliot leaned forward. “Of course it’s not over.”
“I have no one. What am I supposed to do now? Who am I without her?”
“You pick yourself up and you find yourself some happiness. Your life isn’t over. You have to figure out who you are without Krystal. And you never know, you might like that person better.”
Maybe. He didn’t like who he was right now. “I’m too old to start over.”
“Bullshit. Look at me. I never thought I’d find someone after Anna’s death and now I’ve got two amazing people waiting at home for me and probably getting up to way too much mischief. There is someone else out there for you.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how to even find them.” He felt so lost. How did people even date now? Through apps and websites? God. He wasn’t going to do that.
“You could go to Rawhide Ranch.”
Barren raised his gaze to his friend. “Go to Rawhide Ranch? The place you liked to go with Anna?”
Eliot and Anna used to visit Rawhide Ranch regularly. It was a kink-friendly ranch in Montana that provided a safe haven for submissives and Littles to be themselves. Or that’s how Eliot had explained it. It was also where Eliot had met Isla and Marcus.
Did he really think that Barren could find someone there? Krystal had always refused to go there, even though she was a submissive. Or she had pretended to be in the beginning of their relationship. It had been years since they’d played. How had he been so blind?
“You know that Anna loved Rawhide Ranch. It’s also where I met Marcus and Isla. Sometimes, I think she sent them to me.”
“Really? You think it was fate?” he asked, shocked.
Eliot shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know. I just know I thought I would never be happy again after Anna died. That she was the only person I could ever love. I still love her. But I love them too. A visit to Rawhide could be good for you. Would you want a relationship with a Little?”
“I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’d be a good Daddy right now.”
“Perhaps they’d give you a reason to find your Daddy again. Also, eat your toast.”
Barren ran his hand over his face. He wasn’t a person who liked to talk about his feelings or his needs. What he liked most was to take care of other people, not have them look after him.
“I’m not one of your Littles,” he warned.
Eliot just raised his eyebrows, looking unperturbed. “Seems like you could use someone to take care of you.”
Fuck.
The last thing he needed was Daddy Eliot hovering around him. Perhaps it was time to figure out who he was without Krystal. But did he really need to go somewhere to do that?
“Rawhide Ranch could help you find yourself.”
Barren snorted. “Find myself?”
“There’s something healing about being there. About being surrounded by people who are supportive. Who care about each other. Just think about it.”
Sure. He’d think about it.
CHAPTER 1
Barren stared at the rising sun, one boot-clad foot resting on the lowest rung of the wooden fence. It was chilly this morning. When he’d been younger, he’d never felt the cold. But he was now closer to fifty than forty. And it felt like the chill now settled into his bones.
Fuck.
He hated this feeling in his gut. Regret. Worry. Anger. Had he wasted most of his life? Had he spent the best years of his life in love with a woman who, it turned out, hadn’t actually loved him back? Who’d just been with him for his money?
“Good place to watch the sun rise.”
Barren’s lips twitched in amusement as he glanced at Derek Hawkins, the owner of Rawhide Ranch, as the man stepped up beside him, leaning against the fence.