Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 87848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
The train is carrying us away from that place at a hundred and fifty mph. It is a speed that those who work there should be grateful for. The gentle rocking of the carriage on the rails is quite soothing and serves to help lull my mate into a state of relaxation.
She falls asleep awkwardly, half-curled up against the pillows. I wait until I am sure that she is entirely asleep before sliding her under the covers as slowly and carefully as possible.
I could lie down next to her, wrap my arms around her, offer my protection and affection. That is what I am drawn to do, but intellectually I am aware that sleeping in the same bed feels as though it would be too much of an imposition for her. She would probably panic if she were to wake up next to me, an interloper in her life.
She doesn’t feel strange to me.
She feels like the missing piece I have sought all my life. The piece I thought might not actually exist. I stand back and watch her sleep, feeling a little moment of contentment I have never experienced before. So this is what it feels like to have someone to care about completely and entirely, someone to be devoted to. Someone who is loved so deeply and completely, though she is a stranger.
I don’t know who she is, and to some extent, who she is does not matter. She is mine. Nature herself made her for me. She belongs to me in a fundamental way that most would never understand. Ordinary people, typical humans fall in love. They experience a cascade of hormones and chemicals that bond them to others for a while, but it is a tenuous connection that quite often does not last longer than an evening of rutting. Lifelong bonds are capable on occasion, but those can often be put down to self-delusion and convenience. Wolves? We bond instantly and eternally. It is not a rush of hormones that will fade over time; it is a writing overlaid in our very souls.
Humans are sometimes confused by sex. Wolves are not. I am not an innocent, nor am I pure, but my youthful sexual forays never held anything beyond simple lust. I never wanted to watch any of them sleep. I was never contented with their mere presence. I was never instantly, completely devoted the way I am now.
Our kind are made differently from humans in several respects. We are wilder. We can be less predictable. We have simpler needs, even more hierarchy than people enjoy, and an understanding of love that goes deeper and means more than people, who throw each other away for reasons big and small, could ever hope to understand.
There is nothing that this girl could ever do to make me abandon her. There is nothing she could do that would make me a sliver less devoted to her. In her, I see my future.
I realize I will have to sleep somewhere else tonight. I like to plan for every eventuality, but I never planned to be unable to sleep in my own bed. So I retire from the bedroom carriage and go into the lounge, where Daniel, one of my closest associates and long-term friends is holding up the bar. He’s my age, with shaggy brown hair and a tweed suit that he insisted would help him blend into the English countryside. He did not allow the fact that we were in Scotland to dissuade him.
He lifts a brow in surprise, then shakes his head at me slightly.
“I did not expect to see you again so soon, Maître.”
“She needs her rest. Those bastards at the orphanage put her through…” I pause and gather myself. “Add them to the investigation list.”
“Investigation list, or destruction list?”
“One, pending the other.”
I pour myself two generous fingers of Scotch and sip it slowly. This has become a momentous day. My eyes slide to the calendar on the back of the wall. Seventh of July. Right between two days of independence. Beatrix has her freedom now too. She has a chance to be who she has always been.
I imagine how shocked she will be when she realizes that she really is a wolf, that she’s always known what she is, and who she is. I cannot wait to guide her through that first transformation. I will have to take great care of her when that happens. It hurts a lot. And it causes symptoms that can be likened to a severe cold.
“We will need painkillers, Daniel.”
“Yes, Maître. We have painkillers.”
“Good ones, I mean. Opiates. I don’t want her to suffer. I want the transition to be seamless.”
“As much as it can be, yes.”
I do not like the idea that there will be pain that I cannot prevent. “She’s had enough hurt, Daniel.”