Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 105756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
I made myself something to eat, just a small, reheated bowl of noodles left over from the night before, then sat down at the counter and stared at the blank screen of my phone. I hesitated over whether to call him, but in the end, I went with the easier option and sent a text.
Ada: Hi. I called over to your place, but Therese was there and told me you’re staying at Leonora’s for a couple days. Everything okay?
I resumed eating and trying not to stare at my phone waiting for a response. I finished the noodles and was just done cleaning my dish when at long last it vibrated.
Jonathan: Yes, just needed to get out of the city for a while.
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was honestly hurt that he hadn’t asked me to come over, especially since we’d barely spent a night without each other the last few weeks. His lack of communication upset me, too, since he’d just left without telling me. I thought maybe it was best to ask outright if he wanted to see me so I wouldn’t end up torturing myself wondering.
Ada: Want some company?
Jonathan: Not tonight.
Well, that was that, then. His short message made me feel like my heart was breaking. I was angry at myself for what I’d said about my dad, but I was also angry at him. He didn’t get a free pass to push me away, not when he knew how much I’d agonised over starting a relationship with him in the first place.
Ada: Tomorrow then?
Jonathan: I have some last-minute work things to deal with tomorrow. I’ll let you know when I’m free.
So, he was icing me out. A part of me was resigned to it, had believed all along that it would happen sooner or later, that a woman like me couldn’t hold the attention of a man like Jonathan forever. A separate part refused to accept such treatment. That part wanted to drive right over to Leonora’s and force Jonathan to tell me it was over to my face. He was choosing to wallow in grief rather than appreciate the luck we had in finding each other. I’d fallen for him, and I wasn’t imagining the way he looked at me, nor how often he stared when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.
He had feelings for me, perhaps not yet love, but real feelings. Feelings he was trying to deny by putting this distance between us. Perhaps he was like Dad, believing he didn’t deserve anything good in his life because he’d pushed his mother away. Was that why he’d withdrawn? He felt too much guilt over his estrangement from Leonora that he refused to accept how amazing it was when we were together?
The next few days passed, and though I did receive nightly check-in texts from Jonathan, he never asked me to come see him, nor did he say he was coming to see me. I missed him so much it was a physical ache, but I didn’t know how to proceed. If he were in a bad place and I forced my company on him, I feared I’d jeopardize his healing process.
The new year came and went. It made me infinitely sad that Jonathan wasn’t there to kiss me at midnight and wish me a Happy New Year. Mam flew home to Spain, and I got back to work at Pinebrook. The atmosphere was one of doom and gloom. Everyone was worried about losing their jobs, the residents fearing losing their homes. I resigned myself to a long and difficult path ahead, whatever the transition turned out to be, but then on Friday morning, I received an unexpected call from Jeanette at Fabers.
“I shouldn’t even be calling, and this is strictly to be kept between us,” she’d said, all hush hush. “An angel investor has expressed an interest in purchasing Pinebrook, and it looks like they plan on keeping the place running as it is with a focus on breaking even instead of turning a profit.”
“You’re serious?” I’d replied, my heart lifting. This news was surely too good to be true.
“Like I said, this is not to be shared yet. I just thought you must be worrying yourself sick over there, and I wanted you to know things might not be as bad as they seem.”
When I got off the phone, I sat at my desk for several minutes, unable to wipe the smile off my face. It was too early to celebrate, and I certainly couldn’t tell anyone the news, especially since the angel investor might decide to pull out at any point. But still, it was a bit of brightness amidst all the dark clouds that had been hovering of late.
After spending an entire week worrying about Jonathan and fearing he no longer felt the same about me, I finally resolved to go and see him. If he didn’t want this anymore, then that was his decision, but I refused to live with the uncertainty another day. He needed to tell me outright that it was over.