Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 93948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Now’s the time to retreat to my bunk. No matter what we said, there’s a lot of mess left between us. Caretaking for Nox may create a bit of a bridge, but there’s still so much left unsaid…and things said that can’t be taken back. I called her a coward. The shame that brings me now cannot be overstated. Siobhan is well within her rights to toss me right out of her life.
We’re doing the thing. We’re going to fight the Cŵn Annwn and the Council and everyone who would see us fail. I know what Siobhan thinks will happen as a result—that every single member of the rebellion will die—and maybe I’m naive, but I can’t help the hope that blossoms in my chest. By all rights, the Cŵn Annwn should have found us out years ago. We’ve been operating in the shadows for a very long time, and they never noticed.
If we can succeed in that, who’s to say we can’t succeed in this as well? Especially if our hunch about the horn pans out.
“Bastian. Are you coming?”
My body makes the decision for me, trotting along after Siobhan. Inside Nox’s cabin, the sound of the storm abates so abruptly that I have to stop and adjust to the heavy silence. It’s strange to look out the windows and see the rain, wind, and waves and yet feel so separate from it. Lightning spears through the sky more rarely, but that’s the only indicator I have that we may be moving away from the storm. I glance over to find Siobhan pulling Nox’s tunic over their head, and I immediately spin back around to present my back.
“Bastian.” She sounds so exasperated that I have to fight not to wilt. “They can’t stay in their wet clothing.”
“I understand that.” But I don’t turn around. I haven’t seen Nox without the shield of cloth since the last night we spent together, and I don’t think they’d thank me for witnessing their vulnerability when they’re not conscious to decide if I should be in the room or not. Just because I’ve seen them naked before doesn’t mean that permission survived our breakup.
There’s still the faint rustling of cloth for several more moments before Siobhan finally says, “It’s safe to look now. I have them under the covers.”
I turn around reluctantly to find that she’s done exactly that, carefully tucking the sheets high over Nox’s chest. Which is right around the moment when I realize both Siobhan and I are dripping water all over the floor. “We’re going to have to clean up all this mess.”
“Without a doubt. Do you want the first shower or should I?”
“Lady’s choice.”
Siobhan rolls her eyes, but some of the tension that’s been riding so intensely in her shoulders has disappeared. “In that case, I don’t want to be wet and cold a moment longer than I have to. I’ll be quick.”
I pause long enough to remove my boots and jacket and pull my shirt over my head. That leaves me in my pants only, which is still decidedly miserable, but at least I’m a little bit warmer. If I had Nox’s fire magic, theoretically I could dry all of our clothing in moments, but in reality I’d probably just burn the clothing off by accident. From what I’ve heard, controlling glamour is so much easier than working with the elements. I’m simply tricking the minds of anyone who witnesses my magic into believing that something’s there that isn’t. In a one-on-one situation, I can even fool their senses, but it’s still a trick confined to their brain. Not reality.
The elements, though? They exist in a space outside of magic. Elemental users can coax or bully or persuade bits of the larger whole to obey their will, but it’s not without cost. Nox has proven that twice already in a handful of days. I’m exhausted and worn out and won’t be able to practice any magic until my inner well refills, but I’m nowhere near the level of burnout that Nox seems to be experiencing.
Worry worms through me. Even if magical burnout doesn’t kill the affected person, it’s entirely likely that if Nox does it enough times, they’ll lose access to the deeper parts of the well of their magic—if not all of their magic. The fact that they continue to risk it?
The captain takes care of everyone, but who takes care of the captain? Nox finally has the community they’ve been seeking since they were a child, but they still seem determined to hold themselves back, to shoulder all the burden so their people don’t have to.
Even as I tell myself they wouldn’t want my proximity, I can’t help drifting closer to the bed where they lay. There are shadows under their eyes and lines bracketing their mouth, even in sleep. “You push yourself too hard. You always have.”