Ruined Vows Read Online Stasia Black

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Suspense Tags Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement1

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Even though we’re smiling in all the pictures, I can see how miserable we both were. We only had each other to talk to about what was happening at home. I knew his dad did more than just lecture. Sometimes, when he got really drunk and in a mood, he hit Drew.

Carol never beat me, even though, in a twisted way, I used to wish she would have. Then I’d have something to finally show the world. Like, look! A bruise. A broken bone. She really is an abuser! I felt guilty every time I thought it, especially when Drew came to school trying to hide his limp or holding his stomach.

I just didn’t know how to deal with what was happening in my own home. I didn’t know back then that constant cruel words still counted as abuse. Instead, I scribbled down Carol’s screamed words in my journal as if I could capture evidence to prove to myself I wasn’t crazy and that it really was as bad as I thought.

Everybody else adored my mother. She threw amazing parties, was generous at church, and had a kind word and listening ear for everyone. Until she got home and transformed back into a monster like some sort of shapeshifter.

My thumb continues swiping through memories. In so many pictures, I’m looking at Drew, not the camera. I had such a wicked crush on him back then. It was awful.

We were best friends, yeah, but our parents had been talking about this arranged marriage bullshit our whole lives. For a while there, Drew rebelled against anything and everything his dad wanted for him.

Including me, which hurt.

He still considered me his best friend, sure, but he fucked anyone who’d open their legs or bend over for him.

I was so screwed up, and it only made me love him more for a while. Even when I was providing an alibi for him, so his dad would think he was with me while he went off on another hookup. His dad took his car away for falling grades, so I’d pick him up and drop him off at his latest. Then, I’d park down the street and read a book or do homework until he texted me when he was done.

It was pathetic. It was also still better than being at home, where the monster was. So I spent hours and hours in the dark with just my dome light on, being studious while other people my age got up to shenanigans.

Drew certainly always dumped himself back in the passenger seat, smelling like alcohol and all sorts of other things I couldn’t even begin to identify. He seemed exciting, dark, mysterious, and tortured while also being my Drew, the boy who goofed off with me and watched YouTube videos for hours in our cars after school. Neither of us wanted to actually go into our houses.

It was a painful, confusing few years.

I keep scrolling through the photos until I come to the prom pics. Even after all these years, I still can’t help the full-body cringe.

Ugly, slutty embarrassment. That was my mother’s assessment of me when she finally saw the pictures that came out in the yearbook. That’s not what has me cringing down to my bones, though.

I’m grinning at the camera with all my teeth, full of such hope and actually feeling pretty for one day in my pathetic life. I’d already ditched the ugly beige dress my mom had forced on me and donned a simple pink A-line dress with a sweetheart neckline.

That night was ‘the night,’ I’d promised myself. I would declare my feelings to Drew and lose my virginity to him. Then we’d really be bound for life. God, I was so fucking naïve.

I hear the shower turn off and all but drop the phone in my hurry to turn it off and place it face down on the nightstand.

I’ve just barely got my breathing under control by the time Isaak walks out from the shower.

Does he even have the boxers on? Or, since he assumes I’m asleep, did he just come out totally naked?

Not fucking helpful. Jesus. I grabbed my phone to distract myself, and now here I am, right back to the intrusive thoughts. I cling to my pillow and squeeze my eyes shut. I will not look. I will not look.

I peek.

And catch an eyeful of Isaak’s ass as he bends over to step into his boxers. In the shadow of the deeper darkness, I think I see something swinging between his legs. I immediately squeeze my eyes shut, but it’s almost impossible to slow my breathing down now. Dammit, can he tell I’m awake?

I all but stop breathing when he whispers, “Kira?”

It’s a struggle, but I try to maintain the same slow breathing rhythm. I am asleep. I am asleep. If I give out the vibe hard enough, will he believe it? Can you give out a vibe when you’re actually asleep? I’m probably trying too hard like always.


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