Ruined Vows Read Online Stasia Black

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Dark, Suspense Tags Authors: Stasia Black Advertisement1

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Not that I want to stick. I frown. I’m not looking for anything with Isaak. Not anything real, anyway.

From what they’re saying, it’s probably why Isaak was down for hooking up with me in the first place—I’m his type.

Completely unavailable.

Which is perfect, really. ‘Cause while yeah this is a fun fling, I’m in my box.

All I have to do is stay in the box and my whole life is mapped out before me. If I become uncomfortable or panicky, I can look at any square wall and do my deep breathing. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. But the bottom will never drop out from under me because I’ll always have a place in my little box, supported and buoyed by my family and community.

People always talk about thinking outside the box, but what if I like being inside the box? It’s cozy and safe here. I’ve got stuffed animals and my favorite blanket. My family is inside the box, fucked up as they are, and I have a place with them that makes me feel solid in the world.

I’ve never cared if that sounds boring or like I’m weak to anyone else. When Drew proposed a year ago, I was so happy, thinking it was all finally coming together. Like a Christmas scene they have you make in grade school out of an old shoe box, I’d have a beautiful life. I’d have my strong foundation of belonging, and then I’d be strong enough to do all the things I dreamed of.

My parents were finally happy. Dad even said he was proud of me, words I’d never heard out of his mouth before. I finally fit.

As for what I’m doing here tonight, and with Isaak… Well, I never said my box doesn’t have a little back door for side quests.

Everything is still on track. Drew and I established clear boundaries the night we got engaged—we are non-monogamous, to be renegotiated after the wedding. It only made sense since I knew Drew’s libido and it wasn’t exactly like we were⁠—

Yeah, some part of me knows it’s weird that I haven’t really had sex with my own fiancé. I mean, there was graduation, but I don’t think that really counts. I frown and cross my arms.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Quinn says, suddenly putting a hand on my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m glad you and Isaak are connecting. God knows I’m all for fucking out your stress. It’s literally my side gig.”

“And there’s no one we trust more than Isaak,” Anna interjects, smiling. “He’s the best. Even Mads likes him and she hates everybody.”

I laugh at that, always a little awed at how well Anna’s managed to deal with her dissociative identity disorder. She and I have spent a lot of time hanging out together since she got back from Chicago and I’ve even met her alter, Mads—who definitely did not like me. Unsurprising since Mads generally feels some type of way about anyone even therapy-adjacent.

Quinn nods quickly. “We’re happy for you. We just care about both of you. We don’t want either of you to get hurt.” She throws an arm across my shoulders and tugs me in close again. She’s so free with affection now that she’s not in her domme persona, it’s startling and lovely all at the same time.

“Exactly! You’re both family!” Anna chimes in.

Family. Huh. Wouldn’t that be something? To have family like this, and a solid place without having to… squeeze myself into box-shape all the time?

“Stop it.” I wave a hand. “Y’all are gonna make me tear up.” I pretend to swipe away a tear and they laugh. But seriously. I haven’t had friends to just hang out like this with in… well, maybe ever. The closest thing to it was grad school, but even there, I still never felt like I quite fit because I was on such an accelerated track.

My phone buzzes several times, and I almost don’t check it. I’m having too much fun to be bummed out by psycho-stalker texts right now.

But it could be the caterer. Or Carol freaking out about the caterer. They were having some problems sourcing the particular kind of fish Carol wants.

I pull out my phone as Anna and Quinn start chatting about other club gossip.

But it’s not the caterer. Or Carol. It’s Drew.

DREW: Hey babe

DREW: Im sorry if things got weird at the dinner Fri.

DREW: I should have apologized for becca.

DREW: Ive always been a fuk up.

DREW: You know that

DREW: Dad sure took it out on me

DREW: I swear I’ll be a better husband than fiancé

DREW: Please forgive me?

I look down at my lap, feeling too many conflicting emotions.

Here I am, thinking about wanting to stick to Isaak when, if anything, I’m supposed to be stuck to Drew. Ya know, the guy who’s gonna be my husband a little over six weeks from now?


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