Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
“Don’t try to shoulder the guilt and blame for what I did. My actions were my own, and if he dies, I won’t be sorry about it. I did what I had to do, and I’d do it again.” I let out a breath, holding her stare a moment longer. “The only regret I have is that you had to witness that. I don’t want you to fear me, Tilly.”
Her brows furrow, and she adjusts herself in bed, climbing up onto her knees before moving over me until she’s straddling my waist. “I don’t fear you, Caesar. I understand that you have demons, and I respect that, but I don’t fear them because I trust you.”
“You saw me in that cellar, Tilly. You saw what I am capable of and how quickly I can lose control. If you hadn’t told me to stop, I would have killed him without question. I would have kept going until I physically couldn’t swing my arms anymore. You shouldn’t trust me. I can’t even trust myself.”
Anger flashes in her eyes, and she shoves against my bare chest, her bright green stare searching mine. “You don’t get to decide who or what is best for me. I’m in this for the long haul, and there’s nothing you can say or do that’s going to change my mind, so stop trying to push me away. I’m not walking away from this. Not again.”
“I know. I’m not trying to push you away,” I tell her, taking her arms and slowly brushing my hands up and down, trying to console her. “I just want you to understand who I am, who the man you’re letting yourself fall in love with is. You deserve better than a man who’s controlled by the demons of his past. I’m unpredictable. I can’t be trusted not to lose control.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t scare me, Caesar. You would never hurt me.”
I focus on her bright green stare, really taking her in. “Do you truly believe that?”
“Yes,” she says, her fingers spreading against my chest. “Last night was proof of that. I trust you with my life. You did what you had to do to save me. You allowed your demons to rule you just to give me what I needed. So, no. I don’t fear you, and I don’t believe you would ever hurt me.”
I nod. “You’re right. I would never hurt you, but last night made me realize how possessive I am over you. The sight of other men touching you, near you . . . It drives me insane.”
“I like you possessive. It makes me feel desired. Like I’m all yours,” she says, leaning into me and brushing her lips over mine. “But that’s not entirely true. If you were truly possessive, you never would have been able to watch me with those two masked men at Vixen. You liked watching the way they worked me and the way I worked them in return because you knew nothing was going to happen. Last night with Jordan was different. He wanted to hurt me, he wanted to take me away from you, and you only lost control because I asked you to. Because it’s what I needed at that moment.”
“I will never not be there to save you, Tilly.”
“I know,” she says, leaning into me again. My hand roams up and down her back, just glad to have her safe in my arms. “So, we’re doing this whole being honest thing, huh?”
Suspicion swarms through me, and I take her by the shoulders, pushing her off my chest so that I can see those bright green eyes of hers. “What?”
Tilly cringes. “I, uhh . . . I kinda googled you the morning after I slept here while you were still sleeping.”
Well, fuck.
“You did, huh?”
She nods, guilt thick in her stare. “I may have read some things, and then when I went camping, Zeph might have implied that all the things I thought I knew from those articles weren’t correct. But I wanted you to know that I know, and even though you had to do a horrible thing and spent ten years paying for it, I don’t believe you’re a bad man. I think you’re incredible, and I think you’re the type of man who would go to the ends of the earth to protect the people he loves.”
“What exactly do you think you know?”
“That there was some type of dispute with Zeph’s mom about custody, and when they tried to take him, you protected him at all costs, and because of that, you did ten years behind bars.”
“Is that really what those articles suggest?” I ask, knowing better after having read each and every one of them myself, and they sure as fuck weren’t that forgiving.
“No,” she says, glancing away. “They were harsh. They took your ex’s side and made you out to be a monster. They claimed you were attempting to kidnap Zephyr, but I don’t believe that.”