Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 141556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 708(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 708(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
For me. For Dad. For Allie. There’s no good option, only degrees of terrible.
I pull my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
The position is familiar, comforting. “What would it mean?” I ask finally, my voice small. “To be married to you?”
Calder moves closer, cautious. Like he knows I’m a wounded animal that might bolt at any sudden movement. “It would mean you’re mine. Under Bishop protection. Part of the family. No one touches you.”
“That’s not what I’m asking.” I force myself to meet his cold blue eyes. “Would you expect—-” my voice trails off, my cheeks growing warm. “Would this be a real marriage?”
Understanding dawns in his eyes. “Are you asking if I’d force you to fuck me?”
My cheeks heat to the temperature of the sun. Does he have to be so brash? I nod, afraid of what my voice might sound like if I say the words. I need to know. I need to understand the full scope of what will be expected of me. The memory of last night flashes through my mind—how my body awoke under his touch even though it was against my will.
Would it be so bad if he wants sex?
“No,” he says firmly. “I’d never force you. What happened yesterday—that was different. That was me being a bastard who couldn’t resist touching you. I wouldn’t take what I’ll entice you to give me willingly.”
I scoff but don’t comment. “Then what would you expect from me?”
“Cooperation. In public, you play your part. Make people believe we’re together by choice. That you want to be my wife.” He watches my reaction carefully. “I can’t imagine it will be easy to act as if you love the man who kidnapped you.”
At least he admits it. At least he’s not pretending this is anything other than what it is, coercion wrapped in the illusion of choice.
“Not really, no.” I swallow around the ball of anxiety forming in my throat.
He crouches down in front of me, his eyes level with mine. Up close like this, I can see the exhaustion etched into his skin, see the tension in his jaw. Even though he hasn’t said it, it’s clear this is weighing on him.
“I can’t promise that I’ll be a good husband. Can’t promise not to be jealous or possessive or demanding. I’m a man after all, and you’re a beautiful woman. It won’t be easy. It’ll be really hard, and you might come to hate me, but I promise, Saint, if you do this, I will keep you safe. I will give you whatever freedoms I can within the bounds of our marriage, and I will never force you into my bed.”
“Until I want you to.” I roll my eyes. “That’s what you mean to say.”
There’s no missing the hunger and lust in his eyes. “Exactly, and at some point, you’ll accept the truth for what it is. Either way, no matter what, that will be your choice to make.” The air between us is charged, electric.
I can feel his lips on mine, his fingers touching parts of me that even I haven’t explored. To accept what he’s offering would be a terrible idea, but there are no other options, and time is slipping away. God help me.
What is wrong with me? Why am I even considering marrying the man who threatened and kidnapped me? Never mind the thought of him touching me, and the way my body lit up, begging for more. I can’t make the want, the desire I feel for him, disappear.
My heart, my body, it refuses to forget even when the proof of how terrible and dangerous he is is right in front of me.
“What do you say?” he asks.
I wish I could unsee the way he’s looking at me, like I’m something precious and dangerous all at once. It would make it easier for me to see him as the villain, the monster in this terrible nightmare. Except I know, deep down, there’s more to this. That there is more to Calder than what meets the eye.
“I don’t know.” I whisper.
“The rodeo is in a few days,” he says, standing. “That’s when we need to make our debut. Show the whole town, including my father.”
“Days?” I shake my head, panic rising in my throat. “That’s not enough time. How can we pull that off?” I touch my wrist where the skin is raw, almost like the bite of pain will remind me that this is really real.
“We will pull it off.” He moves to the kitchen area and rounds up ingredients. “I have a plan. Tomorrow, we will go to your father. Get the marriage license. Make it legal.”
“You’re out of your mind. There is no way he will agree to this.” Even as I say it, I know it’s not true. Not if Calder threatens everything my dad has built.