Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
“Come.” He holds his hand out for me and I grab it like an olive branch. The embarrassing thought that I have to go back through the office where I have just screamed fuck off to the valued employees makes my stomach turn and I pull back on Josh’s arm. He frowns at me.
“What?” he snaps.
“I just yelled fuck off to your receptionists.”
He smiles. “Why are you such a firecracker? Isn’t slapping my face enough aggression for one day?” Oh god, he had to bring that up, didn’t he?
“Josh, if I see you kissing girls, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
He gives me a sad smile and nods. “We need to talk, Presh, because we can’t be together anymore.”
My heart drops. “Don’t say that, Josh. Just take me home.”
He gives me a heavy smile and nods. “Let’s go then.”
We sit in silence on the way home. We stand in silence in the lift, and I have to say I’m feeling very nervous. I thought when I caught him out with the deception all would be OK. But it is becoming seemingly more likely that it won’t, he’s too controlled and too silent. We walk into my apartment and are immediately greeted by the sight of my new suitcase sitting in the center of my living room.
He frowns and looks at me. “Going somewhere?”
“Um, yes, I’m going to LA on Friday to pick out a new house, remember, or have you forgotten that, too?”
He nods and sits me on the lounge chair. He turns and faces the window as he puts his hands in his pockets.
“Natasha, I want you to go back to Christopher.”
Horror dawns. “What?” I gasp.
“I know he loves you and he will look after you.”
I immediately stand. “Josh, I don’t want Christopher, I only want you.” He keeps his back to me, and I know it’s so I don’t see his face. I walk over and cuddle him from behind.
“Josh, what’s this about? Talk to me, I don’t understand.”
He turns and cuddles me as he kisses the top of my head. “Tash, I’m going to be honest with you because I love you and I want what’s best for you. I want you to hear me out before speaking.” I nod.
“I wasn’t with that girl last night. I was in the strip club for about ten minutes, picked her up and left. It was totally premeditated that the photos were taken. I didn’t realize that you knew me as well as you do and in hindsight it was a bad decision but I still think that we should break up.”
OK, now he’s scaring me.
“Josh,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes. “Don’t say that, baby.”
“Hear me out, I can’t give you everything that you deserve. You have to give up everything to be with me,” he says, deadpan as if running on autopilot.
I frown. “Josh, moving to the other side of the world is not giving up everything, and besides I told you already as long as we are together, I don’t care.”
“Tash, you have to give up your job, your friends and your family.” He looks down to the ground. “Motherhood,” he whispers.
My eyes turn to saucers. “This is about children?” I gasp. His haunted eyes come back up to meet mine and I know immediately that’s the reason. He needs to be admitted, what in the hell is he on about? I burst into a giggle and he looks at me in disgust.
“This is not funny, Natasha, not even close.”
“Josh, we have every opportunity to have children. There is only a one per cent increased risk in first cousins and the younger I am the risk goes down. I have researched this for years, you stupid man. Besides, I don’t care if we adopt or use a donor egg, whatever. As long as I get to mother your children I will be happy.” He swallows the lump in his throat but doesn’t speak. “Josh, it is not your role to protect me from you, I am not a high school girl giddy on love. I have thought long and hard about our relationship and I will not be with anyone else as long as I know you love me. So, if you push me away in some hero act you will only be punishing me with a broken heart.”
“Tash, you don’t know what you are saying,” he whispers.
“Wouldn’t you prefer to be the man who looks after me and loves me and tucks me into bed every night?” My eyes search his. Nodding, he drops his eyes as he thinks.
“Josh, I am not letting you go. I love you too much to do that and you can’t ask that of me. It’s not fair that you have made this decision by yourself when it involves my future, what were you thinking? We have fought too hard already to be pulled apart now.” I grab his arms and wrap them around me and finally he relaxes into me and cuddles me, then he bends down to gently brush his lips over mine.