Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Natasha
I hear the key in the door and I quickly jump under the covers. I am way too mad to speak to him but he’s damn lucky he had the guts to come. He walks to the bedroom door and I watch his reflection in the mirror. He doesn’t say anything and blows out a breath as he walks back into the lounge room while running his hands through his hair. I hear the jug flick on and then fussing about in the kitchen. What is he doing? The toaster pops. What in the world? He’s making toast and a cup of tea. I hear the television flick on. Now I’ve seen it all. Actually, I’m hungry too. The Wicked Witch of the West killed my appetite at dinner. How does she live with herself?
I lie in bed and try to think of this evening’s events from his side. It wasn’t his fault his mother was a bitch, but then he didn’t defend me either—it was Cam who told her to shut up. Was Josh really just trying to defuse the situation? This is a mess. And the Amelie thing. My heart aches as I ponder this one; he has lied to me again. Even if they are just friends, she obviously has a hold over him if he drives her everywhere for horse stuff. She lives in his country estate and she’s a veterinarian. I can’t compete with this shit. I hate horses with a passion. I roll over for the hundredth time and punch the pillow. A depressing thought crosses my mind. Even if Josh and I have the guts to come clean about our relationship or whatever this is between us, our lives are just so different that we might not work out in the long run anyway. Do we even have anything in common? I mean, honestly, apart from sex what do we have other than memories? A lump forms in my throat as I try my hardest to suppress my tears. How do I walk away from him without this hurt? I need to get out of this relationship—it’s going to break me I just know it. It’s not healthy for either of us.
An hour later he comes into the bedroom. It has taken all of my strength not to go out into the lounge room and demand answers, but I know I can’t fight with him tonight. I don’t have the strength. I will end up crying like a baby. I feel weak and it’s an emotion I have become way too familiar with lately. I have never felt so weak in my life. It’s true, I feel better with him here and if we fight and he leaves I will just put myself through hell again anyway. If I just act asleep maybe, we will both actually get some sleep and maybe I will calm down enough so I can actually articulate what I want to say. What do I want to say? He pulls the blankets back and silently slips in behind me, pulling me into an embrace. I pretend to be asleep.
“I hate these fucking flannel pajamas,” he whispers as he cuddles into my back. I smile on the inside. He gently kisses my hair and blows out a breath. “We will talk about it in the morning, precious,” he whispers. “That’s if my balls haven’t exploded by then.” I smile as I hear the last words he has spoken. I must admit, all this dirty talk and no action is about to explode my ovaries as well. Glad I’m not the only hornbag in the house. I stifle a giggle as the last thought runs through my head.
“You find this funny?” he whispers, and I roll over to face him.
“No,” I pull a sad face and he leans in and kisses my cheek. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He gives me a sad smile.
“I’m mad at you, Josh.”
“I know,” he whispers, and he runs his fingers up and down my arm. We stay silent, both lost in our own thoughts while looking at each other. “I can’t handle fighting with you tonight. We haven’t spoken in three days. Let me stay and we will talk about it in the morning.”
I narrow my eyes as I sum up his words. He acts like he cares. Does he truly care or is it an act?
“You won’t be here in the morning, Josh. We both know that,” I sigh.
“You know why I never stay with you, Presh?” My eyes tear up and I shake my head. I can’t say the reason I know out loud because it just hurts too much. He can’t even bear to look at me as he does the walk of shame. He’s just that ashamed that we have been together and every time I think of this reality my heart breaks just that little bit further.