Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 160782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
She screws up her face at me. “No, I’m not.”
I nod. “Oh yes, you bloody are.”
It’s eight o’clock on a Saturday night and my boyfriend is supposedly at the gym when I know he was there for three hours this morning. Where is he and what is he doing? He said he was going to be quick and I thought he would be here about six. I sit with my coffee on my lap on the lounge. Is Cameron currently telling him about his suspicion regarding Joshua’s paternity…what does Cameron know? My eyes close at the thought of the horrible conversation that one day my beautiful Lamborghini is going to have. It will come out eventually, the truth always has a way of coming out. Bridget and I didn’t find Jes tonight but it looks like Joshua isn’t going to be here anyway so I don’t know why I was so worried.
My phone beeps with a text. Lambo.
Hi Tash,
I have been caught up helping Adrian with some computer stuff.
Go out with Cameron and Abbie if you want.
I’m sorry
I frown in frustration. What, so he’s not coming over now? I pick up my phone and immediately dial his number. He answers first ring. “Hi sweetheart,” he says softly. My stomach drops. He only calls me sweetheart when something is wrong, past experience has shown me that.
“Hi, what’s going on?” I ask.
He stays silent. ‘I’m just doing some computer stuff with Adrian. I said I would do it for him, it’s been a lot harder than we thought and we can’t get it right. I’m sorry.”
I bite my lip as I listen. “So, you don’t want to see me tonight?”
“No, I never said that. I want to see you tonight. This is pissing me off actually. But I may be another hour or so and I
thought you may want to go out rather than wait for me.”
I sit back in the chair in frustration. “No, I don’t want to go out, I want to see you.” I sigh, disappointed.
“How much?” He smiles down the phone.
I smile in return. “I really, really want to see you and I am not going out so just come over when you have finished.”
“Ok, baby, I will be as quick as I can.” His spirits seem to have lifted.
“I love you,” I whisper.
He hesitates. “Bye, Presh.” He hangs up the phone.
I’m showered and in the requested white nightie on my lounge under a blanket at 10.15 pm when I hear the key in the door. I pretend to be asleep and I hear Joshua put his keys on the side table. He walks over and kneels in front of me. He kisses my cheek tenderly.
“Hello, my beautiful girl,” he whispers.
I open my eyes and smile shyly at him. I can’t even pretend to be mad when he greets me like that.
“Are you ok?” I whisper.
He gives me a sad smile. “I am now that I have come home to you.” He brushes the hair back from my forehead.
I take his hand and kiss the back of it. “Your body is here, Joshua…but has your heart come home to me?” My eyes frost over with tears.
He kisses me softly on the lips. “My heart has never left you, it’s been with you for more than eight years, Presh. I’m a shell when I’m not with you.”
My eyes hold his as he rubs the backs of his fingers down my face. My beautiful gentle Josh is here. I kiss him tenderly. He doesn’t let his guard down with me very often and I have to take advantage.
“Where were you tonight, baby?” I ask.
He frowns. “I told you, sweetheart, doing computer stuff with Adrian. I’m sorry I took so long. Right now, I don’t want to talk about anything or anyone, I want to spend the night with my girl and not have to think.”
I frown as I play with my blanket. “Did you fix the problem?”
“I think so,” he replies quietly.
He kneels up and rests his head on my stomach and I run my hand over the top of his head, and he blows out a deep breath.
“Right now, I need to go to my place of clarity and then I need to go to my place of Zen,” he whispers into my stomach.
“What’s your place of clarity?” I ask softly.
He kisses me gently again. “My place of clarity is when nothing else matters but me and you and the tenderness we have with each other.”
“When do you get the clarity, Joshua?” I love him in this mood because he tells me the truth without thinking. The glass force field he puts around himself is temporarily disabled.
“The only time I have clarity is when I’m tasting you, with my head between your legs and your hands on my head, your hand in my hand. The way you taste, your scent, your love…is the only time I forget all the shit in my life.”