Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 160782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
I smile as my eyes flick to him, he did that job well. Max and Brock have been hating each other for weeks. Brock blames Joshua for Dad’s death and every time Brock even brings up Joshua’s name, Max shuts him up with just a look. I’m having a hard time dealing with Brock myself. I blame him for Joshua leaving and Dad’s death. If he hadn’t made it so hard for us, Joshua would have come to the hospital with me on that dreaded day. He would be here with me now and we would be dealing with this mess together as it should be.
I had an affair and Joshua is another man’s child.
I frown as I go over the words Margaret spoke to me just yesterday. We are not cousins. We do not share DNA. At first, I was ecstatic and hopeful and now the hard cold reality has started to sink in. Joshua is going to be devastated, because he idolizes his father. He is not biologically a Stanton. For him it might be better if we were cousins.
My heart is heavy. I wish to God that Margaret the bitch hadn’t told me about her sordid previous life, but then, on the other hand, I would not be on my way to him if she hadn’t. I’m so damn confused. It’s like his loss is my gain and I feel guilty and torn. I shouldn’t be relieved that we are not related … but I am, in fact I’m ecstatic. I haven’t slept but am displaying promising signs. I have been comfort-eating for China since that dreaded meeting in my office yesterday. I have hardly eaten a thing for two months, so this is good, this is real progress. Why have we had to sacrifice both of our beloved fathers to be together? I know my father had an undiagnosed heart condition and that he was a ticking time bomb, but I pulled the pin. I know that, we all know that. It is just not fair and so unrealistic. Talk about a beautiful, tragic love story, ours takes the cake. Loving each other for so long from afar, fighting our social restraints and conscience to be together, trying desperately to resist a deep natural desire.… it doesn’t make sense. I’ve never heard of a couple with so many barriers, not any that have made it anyway. I blow out a breath as I pop two sleeping tablets into my mouth and take a sip of water.
“Wake me up if the plane is going down,” I yawn to Max. He smirks. “Sure thing,” he replies.
“Meh, actually. Don’t. I would rather be asleep as I drown.… or catch on fire.” I frown as the disturbing thought rolls through my head.
He pats the back of my hand. “Sleep, worrywart.” I return his warm smile and nestle into position. Josh is right, I do feel safer with him around and I can totally be myself. He’s seen me at my absolute worst and hasn’t resigned yet which is strangely comforting. Max has even been sleeping in the guest room at Mum’s while Bridget and I have been staying there. Mum wouldn’t let him stay out the front in the car all night.… every night. I think that deep down she feels safer having him around as well. Brock has gone back to Afghanistan for another six-month-deployment so the house is eerily man free. He’s refreshing, although he hardly ever says anything. I know he’s in my corner and I trust him.
“Natasha, put your seat back up.”
I frown as I wake and stretch. “What.… I slept the whole time?” Max gives me a smirk as he nods. “Oww, my legs are asleep,” I groan as I seep back into consciousness. My heart starts to race as excitement courses through me. I’m going to see him for the first time in two months, my beautiful Josh. My God, I’ve missed him, I can’t wait to hold him in my arms and kiss his beautiful lips. I know he has been suffering like me. This whole ordeal has been a living nightmare.
“How are we getting to Josh’s?” I ask.
“Ben is organizing one of the drivers to pick us up. I rang him before we got on the plane.”
“You told him I want it to be a surprise, didn’t you?”
He nods. “Yes, don’t worry.”
Thirty minutes later we are at the luggage terminal and Max sees one of Josh’s drivers through the crowd. He nods at me as he walks over and starts to quietly talk in Max’s ear. I frown. That’s odd. What’s he saying? Bit rude, whispering.
“Max, I’m going to the bathroom.” He nods and then continues talking as I walk away. This is weird, Max doesn’t usually leave me alone at all. He must have really missed his friend the driver, they sure are deep in conversation. I exit the bathroom to see Max waiting patiently outside for me. I smile.