Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 160782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160782 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
He smiles. “You drive a hard bargain, Miss Marx, but you know what? He might just fall for it.”
It’s six o’clock Friday night and dark, the building is dead silent, and I am in the office alone. Max and the other guards are in their cars out the front of the building. I can see them from my window. I’m procrastinating because I don’t want to go home. Joshua leaves Australia tomorrow and I desperately want to see him. I want to say goodbye…Hello…I love you. Why am I doing this to myself? I stare into space for about the fourth hour today; my last appointment was two o’clock. I lean my elbows on my desk and put my face into my hands as dread seeps into my every pore. How am I going to stay away from him tonight? How in the hell am I going to find the strength to do this? I just want to talk to him…I miss him desperately. I want to tell him about this terrible person who has hurt me so deeply. I want him to protect me from him and I know he would be outraged if someone hurt me like this. But then I remember the cold reality that he is that person and I am the only one who can protect myself. He offers no protection, only hurt. I blow out a breath as I start to slowly close the programs on my computer and my computer pings. A YouTube tab comes up in the middle of my screen. I frown, what’s this? Don’t tell me I’ve got a computer virus now.
A curser flashes on my screen…huh. I watch in wide eyed horror as a message starts to type on my screen.
Precious girl, please talk to me.
I bite my lip and my eyes instantly fill with tears as I realize that Joshua is hacking my computer. How long has he been sitting there waiting for me to close the programs? The cursor is flashing, waiting for a reply. I type.
Josh… I can’t. I’m sorry.
I break into full blown sobs and hold my hands over my mouth as I cry out loud and stare at the screen. He types again.
I love you.
Please see me.
I sob uncontrollably as the reality of this horrible situation crushes my heart. The cursor flashes again and I reply.
I can’t, Josh.
I’m not strong enough to be with you.
Just know that I will always love you.
Remember me
I cry out loud as I grip my stomach in pain. The picture flashes and I click on it. Oh dear God, no. Not this…not this song. I try desperately to click out of it, but it won’t let me, and the film clip of the song ‘Say Something’ by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera starts to play. Every time I hear this song I burst into tears. Why is he sending me this shit? Is he trying to send me round the twist? I bang on the buttons, but I can’t get out of it and I become hysterical as the depressing song blares through my office.
In desperation to stop it I bend to the floor, grab the electrical cord and rip it out of the wall, and the computer goes dead…just like my heart. I slump to the floor and lean up against the wall and sob. He needs to leave the country…I won’t survive much longer.
Joshua
I sit at the airport staring into space as we wait to board my jet. I am utterly gutted. The silence that surrounds me is stifling.
I look towards the doors for the ten thousandth time in the last hour.
“She’s not coming, mate,” Cameron whispers as his eyes hold mine.
I nod as I drop my head. “I know,” I whisper in monotone. Adrian puts his arm around me. “You will feel better when we get back to LA.” He shakes my shoulder in a reassuring gesture.
I sit slumped in my chair as I nod sadly, I don’t even have it in me to speak. The blistering memory of the last time I felt like this poisons me from within, when I was nineteen and heartbroken, sitting in an airport just like this waiting for a flight to LA…trying desperately to escape her love…or lack of it.
Ben sits opposite us, and his eyes search mine. “Do you want a coffee?” he asks as he raises his eyebrows.
“Yes,” I reply.
He stands and walks over to the stewardess. “How much longer?” he asks.
“Not long,” she replies.
“Good,” he mutters under his breath as he storms through the double doors.
Natasha
It’s Friday and I have survived Joshua leaving the country…just. I don’t even know if you can call it surviving. I’m running on auto pilot like a zombie. If I think, I will crack…it’s easier to function with no feeling…block the hurt…block the pain…if only I could block the memories. I’ve been listening to ‘With or Without You’ by U2 on repeat for days…it seems so fitting to my situation. I honestly can’t live with or without him, how am I going to do this?