Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 21917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 21917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
“You’re goddamn right you should have.” Jim’s voice is ice. “You should have stayed away from her!”
“I tried…”
“Yeah? Well, not hard enough.”
“You’re right.” Colt’s agreement hurts worse than any of our parents’ accusations. He turns to me, his eyes raked with sorrow. “I’ll go. Tonight.”
“No!” I grab his arm in desperation. “Colt, don’t do this! Don’t let them—”
He reaches a hand up and gently cups my face. I should be embarrassed, him doing this in front of our parents, but right now I couldn’t care less. All I am worried about is him. “Maybe they’re right,” he whispers. “You deserve better than a life of sneaking around. Better than—”
“Better than you?” I pull away from him, a painful pressure crushing down on my chest. “There’s no one better than you!”
“You’re too young to understand, Lily,” my mom says. Tears pool in my eyes as I whirl at her.
“I understand perfectly!” I face them both, ready to take on the world. “I understand that love doesn’t follow the rules, or care about timing or convenience or what is or is not appropriate.”
“This isn’t love, Lily,” Jim says, shaking his head. “It’s just—”
“What? Lust? Silly teen infatuation?” I laugh, but it’s bitter. My blood burns like poison. “Why? Because you can’t believe that I’m old enough to understand my own emotions? I’m just some young, stupid girl?”
Jim doesn’t answer, but his expression says it all. He does think all those things; he just won’t say it.
“How long has this been going on?” Mom asks, cutting through everything.
“Who cares?” I ask. “Does it matter?”
“How long?” she repeats. Her tone is almost terrifying. I’ve never heard her this intense in my life.
Colt answers for me. “Since the first time I saw her.”
Jim groans like he’s been hit in the guts. “Christ. The whole summer then? You two have been lying to us this entire time?”
“We didn’t mean to—” I start to say, but Mom cuts me right off.
“Pack your things, Colt. You’re leaving. Tonight.”
“Mom, stop!”
“Tonight!”
Colt nods. Just once. Like a soldier being sent off to war. “I understand. I’ll go.”
“Colt, no!” I’m begging now as I throw myself at him. “Fight for us. You have to!”
He pulls me close but still somehow keeps his distance. It isn’t how he normally holds me. The intimacy just isn’t there, and I’m ready to cry. “I’d fight the world for you, baby. But not them. Not your own mother.”
“She’s wrong. You know she is.”
“Maybe,” he agrees, using his thumb to wipe away a tear I didn’t even realize had fallen.
He walks upstairs, and I follow, trailing behind him like a sad puppy. I watch as he throws clothes into his duffel, every movement practiced and efficient. It’s like he’s been preparing to leave since this all began.
“You promised.” My voice breaks. My legs feel ready to collapse. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me.”
He stops for a moment, his eyes on the floor. “I promised to protect you. And this—”
“I don’t need protection. I need you.”
He brings his eyes to mine and looks at me hard, and for the briefest of moments, I am sure I see surrender in his gaze. But then he pulls away, just like he’s done so many times before. And my heart cracks.
He kisses me on the forehead, but it’s hard, desperate. It lacks the love I’ve felt in all his other kisses.
“I love you.” His voice is low, almost ashamed. “Just remember that.”
And before I can respond, he’s gone. Down the stairs and out the door. His truck roars to life, and I race down after him. The gravel chews into my bare feet as I wave my arms wildly. “Colt! Colt, no! Please!”
But all I can do is watch as his taillights disappear into the trees.
My knees hit the ground, and sharp rocks dig into my skin. I barely even feel them. All I know is there’s a huge hole in my chest, left there by him.
Mom comes out of the house and wraps a blanket around my shoulders. I want to shove her off me, but I’m too depressed to even move. “You’ll understand one day, sweetie. You’re just too young right now—”
Her words set me off, and I jerk away. “I understand,” I snap, lashing out. “You think love only counts when it’s convenient. When it fits into society’s little neat boxes.”
“That’s not it, Lily.”
“You got your perfect second chance with Jim. I don’t even get a first chance with Colt?”
She doesn’t answer. Of course she doesn’t. She doesn’t care about me. She only cares about how things look.
Tossing her blanket off, I race down to the dock, to the place where he almost kissed me. Where he held me like I was everything in the world to him. This is where it all started.
And now it’s all ending…
The water stretches out in front of me, reflecting the world in its surface. Wind whips my hair, carrying the scent of rain. Of catastrophe.