Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Perhaps it was foolish of me to believe that the Oath would truly abandon their contract. I hardly knew Luca because he barely strung a few words together to form a sentence, but I trusted him like I’d known him forever.
I still had the gun he gave me, kept it on the dining table when I was in the kitchen. I left it on the nightstand when I went to bed. But I didn’t actually believe I needed it. It was a poor replacement for the man who had protected me with just his position and reputation.
Anytime I thought of him, I got chills. Instead of going out and getting dick in a bar, I chose to pleasure myself at home, picturing his naked body, his hard chest and massive shoulders, his stare dark as night. He had a quiet masculinity that was so palpable I could taste it every time I breathed.
The sexiest man I’d ever been with.
But that was over, even though it’d never begun. He was in my life for a season, for a reason, and then we parted ways. It was never supposed to be more than that. I needed to feel grateful and move on.
I was at home one evening with a lasagna in the oven, reading a book on the couch, when my phone vibrated with a text.
You doing alright?
It was Luca. My heart did a whirlwind and then exploded in a crescendo. Adrenaline and then anxiety and then excitement. Pretty much every emotion I could feel hit me in the face. I hadn’t had enough time to process the fact that he was contacting me when he fired off another text.
Just wanted to check in.
It’d been two weeks since I’d hugged him goodbye. Two weeks since I’d stared at him through the tinted windows of the SUV and felt a tear in my heart at our parting. I felt so much for him so quickly. Probably because he was the only man who had helped me in eight fucking years. Probably because he’d saved more than my life, but my sanity.
But I continued to stare at the messages and say nothing, so overwhelmed by everything he’d done for me that I didn’t know how to respond. He was like a celebrity to the Americans. The Pope to the Catholics. Sunshine to the trees.
I finally overcame the shock and replied. I’m well. Found a nice apartment. Had a couple job interviews this week. It’s still hard for me to believe that this is real, but I’d already be dead if it weren’t.
There were no dots.
I didn’t expect there to be. It was nice enough for him to text me at all, to let me know he was still there if I needed anything. If I asked him for money, he’d probably hand over a wad of cash without blinking. If I asked him for a ride, one of his drivers would be there in fifteen minutes.
I looked away from the phone and stared at the book in my hand. The last few pages I’d read seemed to evaporate from my mind. I checked the timer on my phone to see how long I had until the lasagna was done, but I’d suddenly lost my appetite. The little speaker I bought played one of my favorite playlists, and I could see the raindrops collect on the window because it’d started to rain an hour ago.
It was the first moment of peace I’d known in a long time. So long it felt like a stranger. Even a dream.
My phone lit up again. Let me know if you need anything.
It wasn’t a lengthy message, but it was more than I expected from him. You’ve done enough for me, Luca. I’d never met anyone quite like Luca, but I’d encountered variants. Filthy rich and painfully handsome and built like concrete, he could have his pick of any woman he wanted. If he wanted a wife, he could marry a princess. If he wanted to be a father, he could have any baby mama he wanted. If he wanted a different woman in his bed every night, he could have that too.
He didn’t need me.
I’d probably already been replaced by someone new. Probably several.
I didn’t get the job at the art gallery.
Well, fuck ’em.
I walked into my apartment and hung up my coat on the rack. I still had leftover lasagna that I’d made a couple nights ago, so I would finish that off even though I was ready for something new. Had to make my savings stretch until income started to roll in again.
I was excited to have a chance to live again, but I forgot how shitty being alive was sometimes. Everything cost money, and I didn’t have any coming in. The only way not to spend money was to sit on the couch and read, which was what I did a lot in my spare time.