Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 30544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 153(@200wpm)___ 122(@250wpm)___ 102(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 30544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 153(@200wpm)___ 122(@250wpm)___ 102(@300wpm)
11
BRIAR
I had one of the best Christmases in recent memory, and it’s all due to Dawson being here. Starting with yesterday morning when he was lying on top of me and was just about to kiss me. I was so hard, I could’ve pounded nails with my dick. It was flattering knowing he was just as turned on. If Mom hadn’t interrupted, I have no idea what we would’ve gotten up to, but damn if I don’t wish for that opportunity again.
But last night was just as gratifying when I woke in the middle of the night to Dawson spooning me, his arm draped around my waist. Once this trip ends, my roomy bed back home might feel a bit too lonely.
I park near Goody’s Hardware to run an errand for my parents while Dawson helps them at Blooming Acres. We rode in on the snowmobiles after taking our time through the path near the mountains again. It was exhilarating, and I can tell Dawson loves all of it—the snow, the scenery, even the family time. And hell, what more could I ask for?
Although the farm is open the week after Christmas, the focus is more on cleanup and storage for the winter months. A few customers will stop by to purchase sales items for next season or Mom’s silver-and-gold New Year’s wreaths, but for the most part, from here on out, it’s considered the off-season, and given how busy they’ve been, I’m glad for it. Soon enough they’ll be seeding potted plants for the spring thaw.
Just as I step onto the curb, my name is being called by none other than Mark. This time he’s alone, and by the looks of it, he’s just picked up some treats from the bakery across the street.
“Oh, hey,” I greet him, trying to rein in my battering pulse. “How was your Christmas?”
His mouth splits into a wide, genuine smile. “Really nice. How about yours?”
My grin matches his. “It was great.”
“Glad to hear it.” He toes a rock on the sidewalk. “Your boyfriend seems nice.”
I nod. “So does your husband.”
“Thanks, Briar. I…” He trails off, shifting uncomfortably. “We, uh, saw you at the tree lighting, but I wasn’t sure if I should approach.”
I inhale a sharp breath. “Why not?”
His eyebrows pull together. “Because seeing you the other day had me thinking about how I handled things back then.”
I hitch a shoulder nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t one of the most significant relationships of my life—likely my only one—and left me reeling even years later. “That was a long time ago.”
“It was, yes.” His features soften. “I guess I just wanted you to know…that it was all me. We had plans, and I…I got scared.”
“Of me?” It’s a kneejerk response after being told by other guys that I was too serious when they only wanted casual.
He shakes his head. “Of college and a career and settling down so early.”
“Seriously?” I scoff. “But you met Michael, had all kinds of adventures with him, stuff you never even shared with me that you wanted to do.”
Not that I would’ve traveled through Europe with him, but there could’ve been a conversation, at the very least, or a compromise.
“You’re right.” He averts his eyes. “But Michael and I were just friends in the beginning, and then it turned into more.”
I fight a frown, wanting to lash out, but at the same time wanting to get past all this. It’s obvious Michael shared similar interests. “It was probably for the best.”
His gaze snaps to mine. “How so?”
“Had you not dumped me, I wouldn’t have met such a great guy years later.”
Here I am, acting like Dawson is really mine. He feels like he is, but despite getting closer on this trip and having open conversations about relationships, I must remember this isn’t real and we’re still pretending.
“Are you saying we wouldn’t have worked out?” Underneath Mark’s teasing tone I note a hint of hurt that tells me my response stung. Though I’m not sure why.
Regardless, I can’t help releasing some of that bitterness that has built up over the years. “Isn’t it obvious?” God, it feels good to finally realize how true it is. That we were never meant to be. How every guy I’ve been burned by has led me to right here, right now, where I’m more content than I’ve been in a long time. And even if Dawson doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, I’m evolving in a good direction, so I’ll always be grateful for meeting him. But damn if I don’t want Dawson to want me in the same way. “The truth is, we’re different people. All your experiences sounded fun and interesting, but I had different goals.”
“I know.”
“You still could have shared it with me, or done things in a different way. We were best friends before we were boyfriends.”