Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 109674 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 548(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109674 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 548(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
I shuddered, then sagged forward, burying my face in my hands. I felt as if I might cry, as if I still held the potential for it, but instead, I tossed my head back and let out a despaired scream. A shuffle made me glare toward the cell door.
Amelia. Like an apparition in all white and without a sense of the danger she was in.
“Leave,” I croaked as I shuddered again.
“No.”
She didn’t. She took a few hesitant steps into the cell. She, too, was caught up in memories of this place. Her eyes focused on me, and not the bloody body by my side, as she bridged the last few steps between us and knelt behind me. She wrapped her arms tightly around me from behind and put her cheek down against the naked skin of my back.
“I’m not myself.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“I could hurt you.”
“I know.” She pressed a kiss to my skin. “But you won’t, and I won’t leave. I left once. I won’t again, not when you need me to find yourself.”
“I’m not sure there’s anything in there to find.”
She nodded against my back as if she was well aware of it. “I’ll stay.”
I closed my eyes, a tremor going through my body as I grieved for what I’d lost in this cell, for what Lamorgese had taken from me brutally. I grieved the chance to end his life, and felt relief because I knew I would never have the strength to do it. Maybe Amelia had really freed me, even if I couldn’t see it yet.
Something wet trailed down my left cheek. A single tear. I let it catch on my chin, then fall and splash on the floor.
“He’s your father,” I said. “If you want, mourn him now. I won’t bury him. I’ll feed him to the animals. Nothing of him will remain on this earth, not even a grave with his name on it.”
“I don’t need time to mourn, nor a place to mourn a man who ruined the word father to me for all time.”
I reached over my shoulder, holding out my hand toward Amelia. She took it, and I pulled us both to our feet. With a last fleeting glance at the corpse, I walked out with Amelia by my side.
When we reached the entrance hall and the heavy door fell shut behind us, Amelia reached up and cupped my cheeks, her eyes soft. “Maybe you should remove the cells, or lock the entire basement for good. Nothing but nightmares wait down there. If we want to feel at home in this place, it needs to stop being the source of so much misery and pain. Let this be our place where we heal together.”
“I have many enemies, and so does the Camorra. I’ll keep handling them as I used to.”
“You can, just not here. I want this to be a place of love, not violence. These walls have seen too much of it already, and you can end it.”
I closed my eyes, relished in the feel of her soft palms against my skin. Maybe she was right. Perhaps I needed to turn this into a place where I could find peace.
I opened my eyes and bent down to kiss Amelia. “I’ll do it for us. I’ll trust you to lead us into the light, even if I’m still lost in the dark.”
Chaos filled my head, and my ears rang with noise. I needed to run or lose my mind. “I have to leave for a little while, but I’ll be back as soon as the chaos is silenced.”
Amelia’s eyes filled with fear. “I don’t want you to leave.”
I pressed my index finger against her lips before she could say more. “Hush, dove. There’s no stopping me.” She opened her mouth to protest, but I shook my head with a warning look.
“But for how long will you be gone?”
I wished I knew. The chaos in my head felt too overpowering to ever get it under control, but the thought of being gone for more than a few days from Amelia seemed like torture, too. “Soon. A couple of days. I need to…” I wasn’t sure how much blood I needed to spill to feel back in control.
She gave a small nod, but her eyes filled with fear and sadness.
“Shower and dress. I want you to throw away everything you wore today. These clothes carry the memories of what happened. I don’t want them to burden you. I’ll have someone drive you to Flavia so you can spend the afternoon with her.”
She blinked, stunned, and even more confused. “Nestore, you’re scaring me. I’m really worried about you.”
“Don’t worry about me.” I forced a smile that threatened to splinter my skin. “Worry for the people I seek out to unleash my rage.”
“You won’t kill my bodyguards, right?”