Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 89878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Jackson
We’ve been home for weeks now, circling each other, caught in this agonizing limbo. I keep telling myself it’s not true, but deep down, I know better. She doesn’t want this anymore. I can feel it—her pulling away, bit by bit. And the harder I try to hold on, the more she slips through my fingers.
So, I stopped trying.
But stepping back doesn’t bring relief. It sends my mind spiraling into darker places. I’m a wreck—unable to focus, unable to function. Work has become a distant memory, an afterthought. All I can think about is her and the inevitability of when she’ll ask to leave. The thought alone feels like a blade twisting in my chest. I don’t know how to handle it. The helplessness is eating me alive.
Frustration boils over, and I slam my empty bourbon glass onto the desk. A knock sounds at the door, and I mutter, “Come in,” my voice a mix of exhaustion and alcohol. The door creaks open, and Georgia hobbles inside.
“Did you need something?” I ask, my tone distant. It’s easier this way, I tell myself. Accept that she wants out instead of pretending. Keeping her here only prolongs the inevitable.
“I wanted to see if you were hungry.”
“I’ve already eaten. But I had Jefferson come in while you were asleep and make you a plate.”
“Oh.” Her eyes glimmer with disappointment.
“Don’t look so disappointed. You haven’t wanted to eat with me for days. I was doing you a favor.”
Her brows knit together. “That’s not true. I just haven’t been feeling well.”
“Or you’ve been tired or not hungry or any other fucking excuse you’ve had to avoid me.” I grab my decanter and refill my glass with a hefty pour. The liquid sloshes, matching the bitterness in my tone. “Don’t worry. You got your wish again tonight.”
“What’s your problem? Why are you being such an asshole?”
I laugh angrily. “Asshole? Not the word I would choose, but sure. We’ll go with that.” I take a long swig. “Anything else?”
“Yeah. Go to hell.” She spins on her crutches to leave, and something in me snaps. Before I can stop myself, I hurl my glass across the room. It shatters against the bookshelf, splintering into jagged pieces.
“I’m already in hell!” I roar. Her body stiffens, and she shifts her weight to face me. “Since that day—the day I saw you believe Noah—I’ve been in hell.” I pause, fighting to collect myself, but it’s useless. “Every single day. Watching you pull away. Losing faith in me. Doubting me. It’s been hell.”
“I never said I—”
“You didn’t need to,” I snap. “I can feel it. See it in the way you look at me. Or, should I say, don’t look at me. You want out. I get it—”
“I never said—”
“You don’t have to!” I cut her off. “Just fucking say it, Peach. Say you’re done with me. Fucking say it so I can stop torturing myself.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want to leave.”
“Then what is it?” I ask, desperation lacing every word. “What did I do wrong?”
“I’m scared, okay!” she blurts out. “I’m scared that what Noah said is true. That I’m nothing but a toy to you until you get bored. I’m terrified you’ll just toss me out one day, as if I don’t matter. I’m fucking scared because I gave you my heart, and tomorrow, next week, a month, you’re going to rip it to shreds—”
“I would never—”
“I don’t know that!” she yells. “I don’t know how we work, and it scares the hell out of me. I can’t breathe when I think about not being with you, but what if that’s where we’re headed? What if that’s our destiny?”
I can’t stand to hear another second of her what-ifs. Pushing out of my chair, I close the distance between us and gently grasp the back of her neck, pulling her into me. “That’s not going to happen,” I growl with conviction.
Tears glisten in her eyes. “You don’t know that.”
I grip her chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine. “I do. Because I’d burn the world down to keep you. To love you and hold on to what’s mine.”
“I am yours. But I’m not sure it’s enough.”
I release her chin, gently swiping away her tears with the back of my hand. “I can’t predict the future, Peach. But what I do know is what I want, and I’m staring right at her. I want this.” I cradle her face, brushing my thumb lightly along her cheek. “And this,” I murmur, tracing her lips. “Always this.”
I pull her closer, my hand sliding up the curve of her waist. “Most importantly…” I move my hand higher, resting it over her heart. “This… I love you, Georgia. That will always be constant.” I press my palm harder against her chest, grounding us both in the weight of my words. “I promise I’ll take care of you. Make sure you’re always happy. Fulfilled. Loved.” I pause. “And I know you’re scared because of what Noah filled your head with. But when it comes to his mom, he only knows one side of the story. The version I let him believe because it’s what’s best. But everything I’ve done for him has come from the right place.”