Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Against me, as my fingers kept moving, Lolly’s breathing went quick and shallow. Her fingers dug into my hip.
And I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she had a similar reaction to me as I had to her.
But that was almost certainly just wishful thinking.
“All done,” Steph said when she was sure to move the vials away. “Not too bad, right?”
“You were right,” Lolly said, pulling back. “I didn’t even feel it.”
“Okay. You sit tight. I’m going to have the doctor come in.”
“Thank you. I was pretty sure I would have flailed and painted the walls red if left to my own devices.”
“Is it the blood that is the problem, or—what?” I asked when she rolled her eyes at me.
“Men,” she said with a little laugh.
“Men what?”
“You guys forget that we’re kind of… used to blood,” she explained. “So, no. It’s not the blood. It’s just the needle going in.” Even saying that made her do a full-body shiver. “Do you come here for healthcare?”
“Not general healthcare, no. But for trauma injuries, yeah, we tend to come here.”
“Because the hospital will tell the cops if your injuries are suspicious?”
“Exactly.”
There was a quick knock at the door before the doctor walked in.
I hadn’t seen her before. She was tall and willowy, with her blonde hair pulled back into a low, no-nonsense ponytail.
“Hey, you two,” she greeted, giving us a warm smile. “I’m Dr. Kinsey. I know Steph got your vitals here. And I am going to need to do a pelvic exam since you haven’t had one yet. But I thought maybe we should do an ultrasound first.”
As she said it, she wheeled over the machine.
“Sound good?” she asked.
“Do you want me to go?” I asked.
“Please don’t,” she said, her eyes a little panicked.
“Then I’ll stay,” I agreed, watching the doctor reach down to fold up Lolly’s shirt and roll down the waistband of her shorts. “This is going to be a little cold,” she warned before squeezing the jelly on Lolly’s skin.
With that, Dr. Kinsey reached for the wand and started to move it around Lolly’s belly, her gaze fixed on the screen.
I could sense Lolly tensing.
I felt my own body going rigid.
It was as if we were both holding our breath, both unsure if the news was good or not.
Dr. Kinsey reached out, hitting something.
Then a strange sound filled the room.
It was a galloping, high-pitched whoosh whoosh whoosh.
Dr. Kinsey smiled. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
Lolly’s hand shot out, silently seeking mine as she tried to blink the flood of tears out of her eyes.
I slid my fingers between hers and squeezed.
“Is it okay?” Lolly asked, her voice thick.
“Everything looks good. There’s a strong heartbeat. If you squint, you can already see the profile. I think they kind of look a bit like gummy bears at this stage. And that’s the placenta forming over here. Your baby is growing right on schedule for where you said you were. Have you been having any morning sickness?”
“None.”
“Lucky! That’s great. From now on is where it starts to get fun. In six to eight weeks, we should be able to try to see what the gender is, if you want. And you will start feeling little flutters in a few weeks—like bubbles or wings flapping. Everyone describes it a little differently. But that’s your baby moving around in there. I’m going to print out some pictures for you. You didn’t want anything digitally, right?”
“Right,” I agreed, giving her a nod.
“No problem,” the doctor said, wiping off the jelly and folding down Lolly’s shirt. “I am going to leave this here for you,” she said, producing a gown for Lolly. “Take your time,” she added as Lolly sniffled. “You can just give me a call when you’re ready for the rest of the exam.”
Alone, I reached out, brushing her hands to the side, then catching the stray tear that slid down her cheek.
“It feels more real now, doesn’t it?” I asked, feeling the same way. The baby had been a reality, but an abstract one before. Now, having seen it, having heard it. It wasn’t an idea anymore. It was real.
“Yes,” she said, squeezing her eyes closed.
“You can cry,” I told her, giving her hand a squeeze.
“I feel like half of what I do is cry around you.”
“I’m not of the mind that keeping tears in is ever a good idea. Are you… conflicted about it?”
“About the baby?”
“I think I was at first. I mean… the idea that it will be part Ben. But it’s not. It’s not Ben’s. It’s mine.”
“It is,” I agreed. Ben didn’t deserve another thought, let alone any consideration when it came to this future child.
“So, no. I’m not conflicted. Just maybe a little… overwhelmed. There’s something alive in there,” she said, looking down at her stomach. “That’s… weird. I mean, wonderful. But also… weird.”