Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
“Right?” I asked, glad to hear someone else say it. “It’s a miracle and all that shit. But also… kinda freaky.”
To that, I got a snorting laugh.
“And you’re not even the one carrying it.”
“Did you want kids?” I asked. “You know… before all this.”
“Well, before Ben, I think I was too young to really give it any thought. I just wanted a more stable life. And during Ben… God. I didn’t even want to think about that. A baby was the complete antithesis to everything Ben liked: cleanliness, quiet, order. He would never have wanted this. He wouldn’t have… allowed it. I never really gave this any thought. What about you?”
“I think I’ve always wanted a kid or kids. You know… eventually.”
“I think you’d make a great dad.”
“Yeah?” I asked, bringing her hand up to my lips to kiss the back of it. “You’re already a great mom. You’ve done everything in your power to get a better life for your baby.”
“Thank you.” She reached for the gown and folded it up with a deep sigh. “I guess I should get this part over with.” Her lip curled.
“Can’t imagine this part is pleasant.”
“I think I deserve a milkshake after this.”
“You got it,” I promised, giving her a smile before moving out of the room.
I gave her a minute to change before calling the doctor over.
“You two are great together,” Dr. Kinsey said, all smiles, as she reached for the doorknob. “Don’t worry. I’ll be quick. Then I’ll get your girl back to you, Daddy.”
With that, she was gone.
Before I could correct her.
And I was going to correct her.
Right?
But I wouldn’t deny it; it felt like there was something right about what she’d said.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Lolly
I had the first picture of my baby in my purse.
Nave had a copy in his pocket.
The doctor, it seemed, didn’t have all the details right about my whole, you know, situation. She clearly thought Nave was the father.
And for some reason, neither of us corrected her.
When we got back to the SUV, Nave reached into his pocket, removing the picture. My stomach twisted, thinking he might just toss it on the floor or in the door compartment. But he pulled down the visor and carefully clipped it under the mirror.
“Don’t wanna wrinkle it,” he explained.
My heart felt like it expanded to twice its size in my chest.
I won’t lie to myself and try to pretend that there hadn’t been many moments over the past few weeks when Nave would look at me a certain way, or he would throw his head back and laugh—sending shivers down my spine—or when he would reach for me, hold me, even playfully nudge me, when I would get, you know, some less-than-appropriate thoughts.
And that wasn’t even bringing up how many sweaty dreams I’d been dealing with. Because I’d been napping more, he’d been invading my dreams with sexy fantasies at least twice a day.
But it had all been sweet, superficial attraction. Hormones, even. My reptilian brain looking for a mate.
In the doctor’s office, as he protected me from my own irrational fears, and then as he shared in the miracle of a heartbeat with me, something had shifted.
It wasn’t as simple as my body desperately wanting to feel good after so many years of being denied the privilege.
It was more, deeper.
And, sure, maybe I was just projecting that onto him because he was sharing in some monumental moments in my life.
But I could have sworn there was something in his eyes when the doctor handed him his picture of the sonogram that said he was having similar feelings.
“So, milkshake?” he asked as he reversed out of his parking spot.
“God, yes.”
“Was it that bad?” he asked, shooting me a horrified look. “I’ve seen those… pussy opener things.”
It was so absurd, so unexpected, that a laugh bubbled up and burst out of me. The sound had his eyes warming and his own lips twitching.
“Known to everyone else as a speculum,” I said, shaking my head at him.
“I mean, I’m not wrong, though, am I?” he shot back.
“You’re not wrong. And, no. It’s not that bad. It’s uncomfortable and really, really, ridiculously awkward. But I imagine I will have to learn to get used to a lot of awkwardness moving forward. There’s nothing… demure about the whole delivery process. I’ve been reading those books you dropped off for me. And…” I shot him a grimace.
“Lots to look forward to, huh?” he asked.
“And only about eighty percent of it is wildly horrifying.”
“But just think, there will be a baby at the end of it all.”
“Which is possibly the only reason women still consent to reproducing. I think the baby and the feel-good hormones after delivery make you kind of forget all the bad stuff.”
“Memory-erasing baby hormones. Something to look forward to. Alright. What do you think, milkshakes and the park? It’s nice out today.”