Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 110113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
“Your ranch is gorgeous,” I say as I step inside. “And this house! Wow.”
“Aw, thank you.” Mollie is dressed to the nines in a long blue dress and big earrings, the bracelets on her arms clacking as she crosses those arms over her chest. “Cash and I prefer his cabin. It’s much cozier. But the New House has actually come in handy as Bellamy Brooks’s temporary headquarters in Hartsville. Well, at least until our new studio down the road is done. I’m so thrilled Sally sent you our way.”
I grin. “Y’all make the prettiest boots on earth. I’m so excited to treat myself to a pair.”
Mollie clasps her hands underneath the slight swell of her pregnant belly. “I’m so excited you’re here. C’mon, I’ll show you our lineup.”
Following Mollie down a flagstone hallway, I can’t help but grin at her adorable little waddle. Sally told me Mollie and Cash had quite the whirlwind romance. Apparently they had absolutely hated each other when they first met, but two months later, they were engaged. Two months after that, they were married, and now they’re expecting.
I definitely feel a pang of … something seeing her cute little baby bump. I didn’t love being pregnant. But I do love having siblings, and I always thought I’d have more than one kid for that reason.
Now, though? I’m not sure I could go through all that again. Babies really make you aware of the deficiencies in your marriage. The things you could sweep under the rug before—the shit you convinced yourself you could tolerate—is no longer tolerable with a tiny new human in the mix.
Before June was born, I was able to keep the house clean and cook all our meals and still have time left over for myself. But once I was up three times a night to nurse while also changing a truly shocking amount of diapers, and washing pump parts multiple times a day, and taking June to all her appointments at the pediatrician, I had zero time to do anything remotely fun or enjoyable.
Dan, meanwhile, was able to continue watching his football. He still played golf every Saturday. He slept through the night and returned to his job five days after June was born, tired but able to function.
It became painfully apparent how unequal our marriage was. When Dan refused to even the scales, I knew I had to leave or I’d drown in resentment and rage.
That being said, I really would love to give Junie a sibling. A sister, if I could choose. Sometimes I feel a tremendous amount of guilt knowing that probably isn’t going to happen.
Sometimes, like now, that guilt feels a lot like grief.
But I didn’t come here to wallow in sadness over the things I’d lost or might never have. I’m here to celebrate my wins. And there have been a lot of them lately—Junie’s having an awesome first week of school, work is going well, and we’re slowly but surely establishing our “village,” as Sawyer called it, here in Hartsville.
So when he asked me out to dinner, I figured I’d treat myself to new boots to wear on our date. I’d admired Sally’s pair of Bellamy Brooks cowboy boots for months now. She set up a date for Mollie and me to meet so I could pick out my own pair.
“I hear you have a hot date with Sawyer.” Mollie turns, and we enter a large room with soaring ceilings and windows that overlook a grove of huge oak and sycamore trees. “We’re thrilled he’s finally putting himself out there. He’s such a great guy.”
I’m not surprised Sawyer keeps mostly to himself. I am surprised he hasn’t been approached by more single, lonely preschool moms like myself.
“He really is,” I say. “I’m not sure I’ve ever met a guy who’s so … thoughtful. And kind. And generous. And, yeah, hot.”
Mollie laughs, turning on the lights. “Cowboys, man. They’re a whole different breed, aren’t they?”
“Truly.”
“So do you have any idea what you’re looking for?” Mollie gestures to the far wall, where racks and racks of the most beautiful cowboy boots I’ve ever seen are stacked almost to the ceiling. “You want practical? Fancy? Colorful, or maybe more classic?”
The breath leaves my lungs as I cross the room to get a better look at the boots. “Can I have one of everything, please? Mollie, these are exquisite.”
“Thank you.” The pride in her eyes is obvious as she runs a hand over a metallic purple pair of tall boots. “We’re really proud of what we’ve built.”
“Hell yeah we are! So this must be the gal who caught Sawyer’s eye.”
Turning, I see a petite red head enter the room. She’s holding an open laptop on her arm, and she’s wearing one of those thick knotted headbands that would look ridiculous on me but is absolutely adorable on her. It matches the red suede boots she’s wearing, which are trimmed with a line of fluffy red feathers down the side.