Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 110113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Romantic love has a place too, though. A big one. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in finding it again. I think about the lessons I want to teach Junie about staying soft, open, allowing herself to be loved.
“I totally understand where you’re coming from,” Sawyer finally replies. He speaks slowly, and I can tell he’s being careful about his choice of words. “I obviously didn’t go through pregnancy and childbirth and recovery like you did. I bow down to women, truly, for what y’all go through. No one gives you nearly enough credit. Or support.” He curls his arm so he can twine our fingers. “And the loneliness you must’ve felt without your husband’s help—I can’t imagine.”
My throat swells. “Thanks for saying that. Makes me feel … not validated. But seen. Heard. No one really seems to care all that much about moms. Or parents in general.”
“Hard agree.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “Thank God we have each other.”
Thank. God.
If I wasn’t falling for Sawyer before, I definitely am now. Here we are, the two of us clinging to each other like life vests, and he’s still brave enough to wade into deeper waters.
He’s still brave enough to stay open and stay soft, when it’d be so much easier and safer to shut me down.
“Sounds like you were lonely too—that Lizzie couldn’t be there for you the way you needed her to be,” I manage. “I know your family is worried about you.”
He chuckles. “How do you know that?”
“Mollie said you’d had a rough road. I get that your brothers annoy the hell out of you—”
“Honestly, that’s just Duke. And Ryder. And Cash when he’s being all growly and mean. Wyatt—well, he’s actually grown on me since he and Sally got together—”
“But it’s obvious they care about you. Bet they try to help you out, too. And I bet you don’t let them, because you feel like you should be helping them.”
“Goddamn it, why you gotta—you just—you’re smart, aren’t you?”
I look up to see him grinning at me.
“I let Cash and Mollie help me out tonight,” he offers. “Baby steps. Loving my people is the one thing I’m really, really good at, and I literally feel like I’m coming out of my skin when I think I’m letting them down, or putting them out.”
“You’re not putting anyone out by being human, Sawyer.”
“My head knows that. My heart?” He sighs. “Needs some convincing.”
“Well, as long as you’re moving in the right direction.”
“What direction is that, though? ’Cause all of a sudden, I’m mighty confused. I thought I knew what I wanted …”
My heart drums inside my chest. “I did too.”
“You got me thinkin’, is all.” He blows out a breath.
I meet his eyes. “That’s never a bad thing.”
“No.”
“There is such a thing as too much thinking, though.” I tilt up my chin to nip at his jaw. “Perhaps we should give our heads a rest and let our bodies do the talking?”
His chest rumbles with laughter as, quick as lightning, he rolls on top of me, parting my legs with his knee.
Trailing his mouth up my neck, he says, “Long as we’re still talkin’, I’m fine with that.”
It’s late by the time we get dressed, put out the fire, and pack up the truck.
“I understand you gotta relieve Miss Lee.” Sawyer opens the passenger door for me and holds out his hand. “But I’m still bummed you can’t come over. Been too long since I had you in my bed.”
I tried to get Dan to take Junie even though it’s not his weekend so I could have the entire night to myself too. But no dice—Dan said he had to work.
Taking Sawyer’s hand, I climb inside the truck. “You had me on the hood of your car. And on the blanket. And then again—”
“Not the same.” He reaches in to grab my thigh before closing the door. “Out here, I got creative with the setting. In the bed, I can get creative in other ways.”
“I’m listening.”
He grins. “Nah, baby, you gotta wait and see. Next time, my bed. Got it?”
“I like it when you get all bossy and possessive.”
His eyes flash. He suddenly leans in and presses a hard, quick kiss to my neck, like he can’t quite help himself. “I know you do.”
The sound of the engine is enormous in the quiet dark as we drive back to my place. Sawyer’s got his hand on my thigh again. My hand is in the hair at his nape, my fingers drawing lazy circles over his scalp and skin.
I feel … sated. Happy. A little—okay, a lot—bummed that this night is coming to an end, even though I’m exhausted and ready to sleep.
At the same time, my head’s all mixed up. I love living by myself. I also love the idea of inviting Sawyer inside and having him stay for the foreseeable future.