Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 110113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110113 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
I laugh. “Absolutely not.”
“Show me, Ava,” he replies, “unless you want this to become a bigger problem? My lawyer’s just a phone call away.”
I step back, barely able to breathe around the constriction in my throat. “I’m not going to let you bully me. Leave, Dan. Why don’t you leave June here while you’re at it if you’re going to act this way?”
“I’m not going to let you bring strange men around my daughter. Show me the phone, Ava.”
I can only stare at him. It’s crystal clear that this man does not like the person I am now or the choices I’m making.
Talking to him is like beating my head against a wall. So different from how easy it is to be with Sawyer. To talk to him. He never second-guesses me this way.
He’d never invade my privacy, because he trusts me.
Sawyer genuinely trusts me. Which makes me think I really can trust myself.
“I didn’t want to get divorced either, Dan,” I say, keeping my voice low. “But we are divorced, which means you have absolutely no right to look at my phone. June is really looking forward to having a nice weekend—”
“I’ll have a nice weekend once I know my daughter is safe.”
“Right, because I would intentionally put our three-year-old in danger by texting with a guy.” I roll my eyes again and turn on my heel. “Whatever, Dan.”
“Don’t walk away from me.”
“Dan,” I say as calmly as possible, “please leave.”
“The phone, Ava.”
I glare at him. “Dan—”
“Just give me the phone.”
“How many times do I have to tell you no?” I turn back around to face him. “Get out of here. Now.”
“Mommy? Is Mommy okay?”
My stomach drops when I realize Junie can hear us.
“I’m fine, Bug!” I call. Then I meet Dan’s eyes and whisper, “I’ll do you a solid and forget you asked to invade my privacy if you go. Right now, Dan.”
He holds my gaze for a beat too long. “This conversation is not over. Really, what kind of mother are you, bringing random men to the house? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a sl—”
“Don’t.” Anger grips my windpipe. At the same time, I’m hit by the ferocious need to cry. “Don’t you dare say that word to me. Or to anyone.”
Silence, heavy and charged, hangs between us as he stares me down.
“Fine,” he clips at last. “But you best believe if I hear a whisper of this man hurtin’ our little girl, we’re gonna have a problem.”
I’m so angry and embarrassed and sad that I’m shaking. I still manage to bite out, “You’re the problem. You always have been. You’re the one who hurt me by not trusting me. By forcing me to bury who I really am. And you’re the one who hurt our little girl by not showing up the way we needed you to.” A tear leaks out of my eye. I quickly wipe it away. “Get out. Now.”
“Whatever.” Dan rolls his eyes, throwing up his hands. “You’re crazy.”
I laugh. It’s more of a cackle, really, the kind that scorches the back of my throat.
“What?” Dan asks.
I shake my head. “It’s just funny. Men love to call women ‘crazy,’ but y’all are the crazy ones thinking we’d ever settle for your bullshit.”
“Fuck you,” he spits.
“Get. Out.” I nod at the door. “And if I so much as hear a whisper about you putting bad thoughts or ideas into our little girl’s head, you best believe we’re gonna have a problem.”
I walk past him in an attempt to end the conversation, careful to make sure our shoulders don’t brush. Keeping my voice light, I tell Junie it’s time to go. I definitely don’t miss doing this kind of emotional labor, where I paste a smile on my face to maintain the peace in our house.
I definitely don’t miss living with Dan and his moods.
At least he’s kind to our daughter as they head out the door, telling her how excited he is to spend the day together.
For a split second, I wonder if I should let him take her at all. I’m not worried for her safety or anything. But it’s clear Dan is very angry, and I hope he’s not short-tempered with her. I also hope he doesn’t put any bad thoughts in our daughter’s head.
He is her father, though. And this is his weekend to have her. I can just imagine the shit fit he’d have had if I’d refused to let him take June. Not because he’d necessarily miss her, but because it’d have wounded his pride.
So I watch them pull out of the driveway and head down the paved road that leads to the ranch’s entrance.
Then I curl up on the couch and let out the sob I’ve been holding.
After that, I call my sister. I decide on my older sister Dottie, since she’s supposedly the wiser one.